By The Serge, PITTSBURGH – People who look nice are nice, a landmark study by Billy, a tween, has found. ”See that guy over there? That guy with the mustache and the curly hair, with his wife?” The one in […]
By Daemon Mailer, FOGGY BOTTOM – A man appeared in four LinkedIn searches this week according to the San Francisco-based employment company.
“I got an email from them saying I appeared in four searches this week,” the man, Bobb Dockton, 22, said.
By The Brutal Times, NEW YORK – As White House officials including Vice President Mike Pence raced to deny they authored an anonymous op-ed published Wednesday in The New York Times, whose writer claims to be part of a “resistance” inside U.S. President Donald Trump’s inner circle in the administration, The Brutal Times has learned the true identity of the official behind the piece.
By Billy, Belmopan, BELIZE – Hey, is it just me or is Mike Pompeo starting to look a lot like Kim Jong Un? “Who?” Mike Pompeo. “Mike who?” The CIA director-soon-to-be-U.S. secretary of state guy. “Huh.” So, does he look […]
By Smia Oots, SOUTH BRONX – If you’ve been thinking most people named Neil are hard to get along with you’re not alone says a recently released document from Internet super snooper Edward Snowden, 36.
“People – persons – named Neil are notorious dicks.”
By Petit Rowley, Special to The Brutal Times, DETROIT – “Lip synching keeps lips looking young and alive,” tweeted town tween Tariq Bozzio, 29 and a half, Tuesday.
By Business Jesus, LONDON – Ever wonder how the Royals save money?
They don’t.
By DJ Salinger, PARIS – Ah, Paris! Paris in the spring. What can one say about Paris? Only, it isn’t spring, and so far, to be be frank, almost all that’s been written about this golden city on the Seine is unreadable.
Unless you speak French.
By Coco Nostradamus, TORONTO –
Hey guys, time to put your winter boots on and help yourself to another sandwich. Everybody got their coffees? OK. If you were born on this date, you might want to take a look at the following before making any big decisions this week involving you or a partner in your life:
