Latest Brutality

People who look nice are nice

By The Serge, PITTSBURGH – People who look nice are nice, a landmark study by Billy, a tween, has found. ”See that guy over there? That guy with the mustache and the curly hair, with his wife?” The one in […]

Latest Brutality

Man appeared in 4 LinkedIn searches this week

By Daemon Mailer, FOGGY BOTTOM – A man appeared in four LinkedIn searches this week according to the San Francisco-based employment company.
“I got an email from them saying I appeared in four searches this week,” the man, Bobb Dockton, 22, said.

Latest Brutality

Trump wrote anonymous NYT op-ed

By The Brutal Times, NEW YORK – As White House officials including Vice President Mike Pence raced to deny they authored an anonymous  op-ed published Wednesday in The New York Times, whose writer claims to be part of a “resistance” inside U.S. President Donald Trump’s  inner circle in the administration, The Brutal Times has learned the true identity of the official behind the piece.

Presidential Daily Brief

Is Mike Pompeo Starting to Look Like Kim Jong Un?

Is Mike Pompeo Starting to Look Like Kim Jong Un?

By Billy, Belmopan, BELIZE – Hey, is it just me or is Mike Pompeo starting to look a lot like Kim Jong Un? “Who?” Mike Pompeo. “Mike who?” The CIA director-soon-to-be-U.S. secretary of state guy. “Huh.” So, does he look […]

Hollywood Pap

Can James Cameron’s Emoticon Save the Silver Screen?

By Yves Dropper, HOLLYWOOD- Hollywood, land of long boulevards, sweeping palm trees and ocean views. Keanu Reeves was born here. Underneath one’s feet, the handprints, and yes, even feetprints of a million actors and…oh, forget it. Word here is that […]

Stories For Tops

People With the Same Name are the Same

By Smia Oots, SOUTH BRONX – If you’ve been thinking most people named Neil are hard to get along with you’re not alone says a recently released document from Internet super snooper Edward Snowden, 36.
“People – persons – named Neil are notorious dicks.”

Latest Brutality

Lip Synching Keeps Lips Looking Young and Alive

By Petit Rowley, Special to The Brutal Times, DETROIT – “Lip synching keeps lips looking young and alive,” tweeted town tween Tariq Bozzio, 29 and a half, Tuesday.

Latest Brutality

How the Royals Save Money

By Business Jesus, LONDON – Ever wonder how the Royals save money?

They don’t.

Latest Brutality

Jean Claude Van Damme To Join Van Halen

By DJ Salinger, PARIS – Ah, Paris! Paris in the spring. What can one say about Paris? Only, it isn’t spring, and so far, to be be frank, almost all that’s been written about this golden city on the Seine is unreadable.

Unless you speak French.

The Craptangle

Bigger Craptangle →

Philosophy Sluts

Top Three Ways To Tell if Your Partner Wants an Open Relationship

Presidential Daily Brief

Obama Romney Presidential Debate: The Director’s Cut

Latest Brutality

My Feet Hurt

Latest Brutality

Radiohead Change Name to Videohead

Grande Chef Otto

Diet Earth: The Earth is Too Fat

Latest Brutality

Nietzsche’s New Sex Tape!

Presidential Daily Brief

For Lefties, the Right Hand is ‘The Stranger’

Ordinary People

Morning Person Pisses Everyone Off

Ordinary People

Guy’s Nose Ring Looks Like a Booger

Featured Brutality

Man Uses Social Networking Tool Facebook to Express Himself, but not Twitter