Presidential Daily Brief

Is Mike Pompeo Starting to Look Like Kim Jong Un?

Is Mike Pompeo Starting to Look Like Kim Jong Un?

By Billy, Belmopan, BELIZE – Hey, is it just me or is Mike Pompeo starting to look a lot like Kim Jong Un? “Who?” Mike Pompeo. “Mike who?” The CIA director-soon-to-be-U.S. secretary of state guy. “Huh.” So, does he look […]

Hollywood Pap

Can James Cameron’s Emoticon Save the Silver Screen?

By Yves Dropper, HOLLYWOOD- Hollywood, land of long boulevards, sweeping palm trees and ocean views. Keanu Reeves was born here. Underneath one’s feet, the handprints, and yes, even feetprints of a million actors and…oh, forget it. Word here is that […]

Stories For Tops

People With the Same Name are the Same

By Smia Oots, SOUTH BRONX – If you’ve been thinking most people named Neil are hard to get along with you’re not alone says a recently released document from Internet super snooper Edward Snowden, 36.
“People – persons – named Neil are notorious dicks.”

Latest Brutality

Lip Synching Keeps Lips Looking Young and Alive

By Petit Rowley, Special to The Brutal Times, DETROIT – “Lip synching keeps lips looking young and alive,” tweeted town tween Tariq Bozzio, 29 and a half, Tuesday.

Latest Brutality

How the Royals Save Money

By Business Jesus, LONDON – Ever wonder how the Royals save money?

They don’t.

Latest Brutality

Jean Claude Van Damme To Join Van Halen

By DJ Salinger, PARIS – Ah, Paris! Paris in the spring. What can one say about Paris? Only, it isn’t spring, and so far, to be be frank, almost all that’s been written about this golden city on the Seine is unreadable.

Unless you speak French.

Philosophy Sluts

Top Three Ways To Tell if Your Partner Wants an Open Relationship

By Coco Nostradamus, TORONTO –
Hey guys, time to put your winter boots on and help yourself to another sandwich. Everybody got their coffees? OK. If you were born on this date, you might want to take a look at the following before making any big decisions this week involving you or a partner in your life:

Latest Brutality

Obama Romney Presidential Debate: The Director’s Cut

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Jim, can they – can the American people hear us right now?
MR. LEHRER: What is the difference?
MR. ROMNEY: Well —
MR. LEHRER: Let’s just say they can see your arms flapping around but they have no idea what you’re saying.

Latest Brutality

My Feet Hurt

By Roger Talock, Special to The Brutal Times, MILWAUKEE – My feet hurt.
Know why?
From walkin’ ’round all the time!
Yeah, no, and what’s more is you can’t even bring it up no more.
Feet are killin’ you?
That’s too bad, my boy.
No one wants to give my feet story the time of day.

Until today.

The Craptangle

Bigger Craptangle →

Latest Brutality

Radiohead Change Name to Videohead

Grande Chef Otto

Diet Earth: The Earth is Too Fat

Latest Brutality

Nietzsche’s New Sex Tape!

Presidential Daily Brief

For Lefties, the Right Hand is ‘The Stranger’

Ordinary People

Morning Person Pisses Everyone Off

Ordinary People

Guy’s Nose Ring Looks Like a Booger

Featured Brutality

Man Uses Social Networking Tool Facebook to Express Himself, but not Twitter

Presidential Daily Brief

Gingrich Reaches Out to Conservatives

Latest Brutality

One Billion Killer Baby Names!

Presidential Daily Brief

2012 Republican Presidential Master Debate Director’s Cut