By The Brutal Times, NEW YORK – As White House officials including Vice President Mike Pence raced to deny they authored an anonymous op-ed published Wednesday in The New York Times, whose writer claims to be part of a “resistance” inside U.S. President Donald Trump’s inner circle in the administration, The Brutal Times has learned the true identity of the official behind the piece.
By Daemon Mailer, FOGGY BOTTOM – A man appeared in four LinkedIn searches this week according to the San Francisco-based employment company.
“I got an email from them saying I appeared in four searches this week,” the man, Bobb Dockton, 22. said.
No one has ever appeared in over 3 LinkedIn searches in one week.
By Yves Dropper, HOLLYWOOD- Hollywood, land of long boulevards, sweeping palm trees and ocean views. Keanu Reeves was born here. Underneath one’s feet, the handprints, and yes, even feetprints of a million actors and…oh, forget it. Word here is that […]
By Smia Oots, SOUTH BRONX – If you’ve been thinking most people named Neil are hard to get along with you’re not alone says a recently released document from Internet super snooper Edward Snowden, 36.
“People – persons – named Neil are notorious dicks.”
By DJ Salinger, PARIS – Ah, Paris! Paris in the spring. What can one say about Paris? Only, it isn’t spring, and so far, to be be frank, almost all that’s been written about this golden city on the Seine is unreadable.
Unless you speak French.
By Coco Nostradamus, TORONTO –
Hey guys, time to put your winter boots on and help yourself to another sandwich. Everybody got their coffees? OK. If you were born on this date, you might want to take a look at the following before making any big decisions this week involving you or a partner in your life:
PRESIDENT OBAMA: Jim, can they – can the American people hear us right now?
MR. LEHRER: What is the difference?
MR. ROMNEY: Well —
MR. LEHRER: Let’s just say they can see your arms flapping around but they have no idea what you’re saying.