Schadenfreude
Latest Brutality
I like pushing buttons on my computer
By Michael Dean, Special to The Brutal Times, BOISE- I like pushing buttons on my computer. I’m not a fan of touchscreens because stabbing the glass like I’m doing now on my iPhone hurts my fingers. Let me explain. I’m […]
Latest Brutality
People who look nice are nice
By The Serge, PITTSBURGH – People who look nice are nice, a landmark study by Billy, a tween, has found. ”See that guy over there? That guy with the mustache and the curly hair, with his wife?” The one in […]
Latest Brutality
Man appeared in 4 LinkedIn searches this week
By Daemon Mailer, FOGGY BOTTOM – A man appeared in four LinkedIn searches this week according to the San Francisco-based employment company.
“I got an email from them saying I appeared in four searches this week,” the man, Bobb Dockton, 22, said.
Latest Brutality
Trump wrote anonymous NYT op-ed
By The Brutal Times, NEW YORK – As White House officials including Vice President Mike Pence raced to deny they authored an anonymous op-ed published Wednesday in The New York Times, whose writer claims to be part of a “resistance” inside U.S. President Donald Trump’s inner circle in the administration, The Brutal Times has learned the true identity of the official behind the piece.
Presidential Daily Brief
Is Mike Pompeo Starting to Look Like Kim Jong Un?
By Billy, Belmopan, BELIZE – Hey, is it just me or is Mike Pompeo starting to look a lot like Kim Jong Un? “Who?” Mike Pompeo. “Mike who?” The CIA director-soon-to-be-U.S. secretary of state guy. “Huh.” So, does he look […]
Stories For Tops
People With the Same Name are the Same
By Smia Oots, SOUTH BRONX – If you’ve been thinking most people named Neil are hard to get along with you’re not alone says a recently released document from Internet super snooper Edward Snowden, 36.
“People – persons – named Neil are notorious dicks.”
Latest Brutality
Lip Synching Keeps Lips Looking Young and Alive
By Petit Rowley, Special to The Brutal Times, DETROIT – “Lip synching keeps lips looking young and alive,” tweeted town tween Tariq Bozzio, 29 and a half, Tuesday.
Latest Brutality
How the Royals Save Money
By Business Jesus, LONDON – Ever wonder how the Royals save money?
They don’t.
Latest Brutality
Jean Claude Van Damme To Join Van Halen
By DJ Salinger, PARIS – Ah, Paris! Paris in the spring. What can one say about Paris? Only, it isn’t spring, and so far, to be be frank, almost all that’s been written about this golden city on the Seine is unreadable.
Unless you speak French.
