Warm Topic Archives: global financial crisis

Great Depression Gross-out Stories:I Ate Fred

Special to The Brutal Times, By James Muchen,114 – In the house I grew up in we weren’t nothin’ but us kids, pa & ma.

Ma wan’nt home much a the time, and pa used tuh beat us every chance he get.

Then came the Depression an’ things really started tuh get bad.

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Batman Fires Robin

batmanrobin

By Smia Oots, NEW YORK CITY – The tentacles of the global economic crisis, or GECK as it is lovingly known by fans, have finally reached Gotham City itself, and into the Louis Vuitton pocketbook of the Batman himself.

Commissioner Gordon announced through his FaceBook homepage that “Batman has fired Robin,” effective as of 4pm this Tuesday March 10.

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Man Pays Twice For Same Meal

By Smia Oots (with InfoSandwich News Services) SAN FRANCISCO – Reports are everywhere on the Web this morning speculating that a Bay area man has paid twice for the same meal.

The man who is as yet unidentified bears little or some resemblance to reclusive hip hop singing sensation Eminem.

Posted in Featured Brutality, Hollywood Pap | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Bin Laden: Al Qaeda to Cut Part-Timers, Close Schools

By Styles Cradgerock, with Minx Cradgerock , PARIS – As hard times are felt all across the globe due to the worsening of the financial crisis everyone is looking for ways to pinch pennies and froog to the new frugal beat of 2009.

Duh.

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Chinese Democracy Bail-out to Cost $986 Billion

As details of the Democrats’ 1 trillion dollar budget request continue to leak out the president-elect has been mulling the final touches of what amounts to the priciest financial bail-out plan made in US political history.

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Japan Buys Popular US Holidays as Dollar Dips

By Ohashi Jozu, with Business Jesus, TOKYO – The world’s second largest economy may well be entering an exciting recession, as mentioned by CNN and other news junkies, but perhaps due to the simultaneous rise in the value of the yen the message on the floor of the Nikkei stock exchange is still buy buy buy!

Posted in Japan, Latest Brutality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments