Conversational Gold - The Brutal Times
Delicious Topping

Presidential Daily Brief

The same one the President reads before breakfast? Come on. Still. Styles Cradgerock and Barry Hussein report.

Trump wrote anonymous NYT op-ed

By The Brutal Times, NEW YORK – As White House officials including Vice President Mike Pence raced to deny they authored an anonymous  op-ed published Wednesday in The New York Times, whose writer claims to be part of a “resistance” inside U.S. President Donald Trump’s  inner circle in the administration, The Brutal Times has learned the true identity of the official behind the piece.

Is Mike Pompeo Starting to Look Like Kim Jong Un?

Is Mike Pompeo Starting to Look Like Kim Jong Un?

By Billy, Belmopan, BELIZE – Hey, is it just me or is Mike Pompeo starting to look a lot like Kim Jong Un? “Who?” Mike Pompeo. “Mike who?” The CIA director-soon-to-be-U.S. secretary of state guy. “Huh.” So, does he look […]

Obama Romney Presidential Debate: The Director’s Cut

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Jim, can they – can the American people hear us right now?
MR. LEHRER: What is the difference?
MR. ROMNEY: Well —
MR. LEHRER: Let’s just say they can see your arms flapping around but they have no idea what you’re saying.

For Lefties, the Right Hand is ‘The Stranger’

By El Toro, with DJ Salinger contributing, IOWA – Yes, for years folks over forty thought Billy Joel was “The Stranger.”

And maybe he was, in a way, in whatever way that might mean.

Gingrich Reaches Out to Conservatives

By Barry Hussein, IOWA – Moving his arm and stretching it away from his body, 2012 U.S. Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich reached out to conservatives this week, touching many in places they hadn’t been touched before. “There’s this place, on […]

2012 Republican Presidential Master Debate Director’s Cut

The following is a Director’s Cut of the 2012 Republican presidential debate on Sept. 7, 2011, in Simi Valley, Calif., as corrected by The Brutal Times.

Lack of Kitchen Counter Space in Libya Political Hot Potato for Rebels

By Grande Chef Otto, TRIPOLI – Because there was nothing else on we were stuck watching that revolution thingy in Libya? The one which should have been exciting since their dictator dresses like Michael Jackson and has more attitude than Snoop Doggie, but is actually a snore fest since now all the other channels got wars on `em too?

Ratko Mladic Changing His Name to Rick?

By Styles Cradgerock, THE HAGUE – The Hague’s newest catch, accused war criminal and Serbian general Ratko Mladic shocked followers on Twitter when he tweeted today:

“I’m thinking of changing my name…to Rick or…maybe Slobodan.”

Obama’s Bin Laden is Dead Speech: The Director’s Cut

By Styles Cradgerock,WASHINGTON – Vital edutainment from U.S. President Barack Obama’s speech last night, confirming the death of Osama bin Laden was accidentally left on the White House cutting room floor, The Brutal Times has learned. The following is a Director’s Cut of the entire speech, with the president’s original 2008 campaign personality faithfully reassembled by fans old enough to remember.

Iraq War Was “an Hoax” New Bush Book Says

Iraq war was 'An Hoax'

By Styles Cradgerock, WASHINGTON – Boy, how the times have changed. Back in 2003, I was just another fresh face with chronic stomach pain trying to land an unpaid job at The Brutal Times when it was just a weekly free box of tissues handed out at my local car was and yet another young guy by the name of George W. Bush was just revving up to land a whopping kick on Middle East henchman Saddam Hussein’s kaboose.