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Warm Topic Archives: the brutal times
Aging Hypocrites Want a Piece of the Pie
By Daemon Mailer, VERMONT – Angry young people massed themselves into howling packs and began pogoing up and down in riotous response in reaction to the release of a landmark tweet tweeted this morning by prestigious Caribbean think tank MyGoodies.
The tweet, which was promptly deleted before it could incite further unrest, apparently asserted old people are jonesing for more than their share of the proverbial planetary pie.
I Got Probs
By Hessy Marin, Special to The Brutal Times, BOSTON- I got probs. Man, let me tell you! Things were goin’ pretty swell for a while there – new boy, new apartment – even a new car…
Then, I won the lottery.
Is Ben Afleck U.S. Cinema’s Enfant Terrible?
By Smia Oots, Los Angeles, HOLLYWOOD
How the Royals Save Money
By Business Jesus, LONDON – Ever wonder how the Royals save money?
They don’t.
Man’s Shit “Doesn’t Stink”
By El Toro, WOODS HOLE – The medical community has become unhinged this morning with reports of Ron Jean Beaujong, a 22-year-old systems programmer from Oregon clogging up the blogosphere so much so that wi-fi is down all over town.
Know why?
Mr. Jean Beaujong’s shit doesn’t stink.
Jean Claude Van Damme To Join Van Halen
By DJ Salinger, PARIS – Ah, Paris! Paris in the spring. What can one say about Paris? Only, it isn’t spring, and so far, to be be frank, almost all that’s been written about this golden city on the Seine is unreadable.
Unless you speak French.
Posted in Latest Brutality, Thinking Man's Rock
Tagged david lee roth, dj salinger, ellen degeneres joins van halen, fluffer, Jean Claude Van Damme, Jean Claude Van Damme To Join Van Halen, NVNew Van Halen singer. van halen replaces singer again, paris in the spring, steven segal, the brutal times, Thinking Man's Rock, van damme halen, van ellen, Van Halen, van halen 2012, van halen new album, van helen
3 Comments
Top Three Ways To Tell if Your Partner Wants an Open Relationship
By Coco Nostradamus, TORONTO -
Hey guys, time to put your winter boots on and help yourself to another sandwich. Everybody got their coffees? OK. If you were born on this date, you might want to take a look at the following before making any big decisions this week involving you or a partner in your life:
Obama Romney Presidential Debate: The Director’s Cut
PRESIDENT OBAMA: Jim, can they – can the American people hear us right now?
MR. LEHRER: What is the difference?
MR. ROMNEY: Well —
MR. LEHRER: Let’s just say they can see your arms flapping around but they have no idea what you’re saying.
My Feet Hurt
By Roger Talock, Special to The Brutal Times, MILWAUKEE – My feet hurt.
Know why?
From walkin’ ’round all the time!
Yeah, no, and what’s more is you can’t even bring it up no more.
Feet are killin’ you?
That’s too bad, my boy.
No one wants to give my feet story the time of day.
Until today.
Posted in Latest Brutality
Tagged My feet hurt, Ordinary People, the brutal times, true stories of everyday heros
6 Comments
Radiohead Change Name to Videohead
By DJ Salinger, LONDON – As London gets ready for the Olympics, shoppers were shocked to learn that long-time fellow Londoners and Deepresso artists, Radiohead will change their name to time with the August Opening Ceremony.
“Yeah, we’re changing our name to Videohead,”