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Warm Topic Archives: the brutal times
Can James Cameron’s Emoticon Save the Silver Screen?
By Yves Dropper, HOLLYWOOD- Hollywood, land of long boulevards, sweeping palm trees and ocean views. Keanu Reeves was born here. Underneath one’s feet, the handprints, and yes, even feetprints of a million actors and…oh, forget it. Word here is that […]
Posted in Hollywood Pap, Latest Brutality
Tagged avatar, emotica, iphone, james cameron's emoticon, line, new james cameron film, screen savers, smiley, the brutal times, yahoo, yves dropper
3 Comments
In Spacewalk Astronauts Repair Finnish Space Station
By Helder Goff, Special to the Brutal Times, SPACE – Space, the final frontier. No one was supposed to go there, but they did. Probably that’s why, increasingly, God has been busting up their space ships.
“Actually, we don’t know if it’s God that’s been doing it, or some other kids or something,” claimed Gus VanderBilt, 11, designer of Finland’s famed Zolftschatz, which is Ikean for “Zolftschatz.”
Should Scotland Become Important?
By Styles Cradgerock, SCOTLAND – Scotland. Home of haggis, chips, boat trips on the Seine. The land of Mel Gibson and Oliver Twist. Home of the twist. Birthplace of sherlock Holmes. Home of former heavyweight champion Larry Holmes. Where ice cream is free and driving is only permitted for children.
Still, few have ever heard of it.
Aging Hypocrites Want a Piece of the Pie
By Daemon Mailer, VERMONT – Angry young people massed themselves into howling packs and began pogoing up and down in riotous response in reaction to the release of a landmark tweet tweeted this morning by prestigious Caribbean think tank MyGoodies.
The tweet, which was promptly deleted before it could incite further unrest, apparently asserted old people are jonesing for more than their share of the proverbial planetary pie.
I Got Probs
By Hessy Marin, Special to The Brutal Times, BOSTON- I got probs. Man, let me tell you! Things were goin’ pretty swell for a while there – new boy, new apartment – even a new car…
Then, I won the lottery.
Is Ben Afleck U.S. Cinema’s Enfant Terrible?
By Smia Oots, Los Angeles, HOLLYWOOD
How the Royals Save Money
By Business Jesus, LONDON – Ever wonder how the Royals save money?
They don’t.
Man’s Shit “Doesn’t Stink”
By El Toro, WOODS HOLE – The medical community has become unhinged this morning with reports of Ron Jean Beaujong, a 22-year-old systems programmer from Oregon clogging up the blogosphere so much so that wi-fi is down all over town.
Know why?
Mr. Jean Beaujong’s shit doesn’t stink.
Jean Claude Van Damme To Join Van Halen
By DJ Salinger, PARIS – Ah, Paris! Paris in the spring. What can one say about Paris? Only, it isn’t spring, and so far, to be be frank, almost all that’s been written about this golden city on the Seine is unreadable.
Unless you speak French.
Posted in Latest Brutality, Thinking Man's Rock
Tagged david lee roth, dj salinger, ellen degeneres joins van halen, fluffer, Jean Claude Van Damme, Jean Claude Van Damme To Join Van Halen, NVNew Van Halen singer. van halen replaces singer again, paris in the spring, steven segal, the brutal times, Thinking Man's Rock, van damme halen, van ellen, Van Halen, van halen 2012, van halen new album, van helen
3 Comments