Warm Topic Archives: the brutal times

Pence to choose self as 2024 running mate

By Styles Cradgerock, SOUTH OF FRANCE — Former U.S. Vice President Mike Pence surprised an onlooker at Denny’s in Toledo, Ohio when he abruptly tore the napkin from his neck provided to offset damage to his suit from pancakes failing […]

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Waiter gave me a wobbly table

By Blair G. Moluba, Special to The Brutal Times, CHICAGO — It’s not easy to find a quiet cafe where you can unwind and catch up on work on your laptop while checking your texts on your phone. So I […]

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Study: People look better with their masks on

By Ray Goolens, Special to The Brutal Times,  New York — A landmark study has confirmed what we’ve known all along: People look better in face masks than without them. Prestigious Caribbean think tank MyGoodies found that most people were […]

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Finally, things are looking up

By Styles Cradgerock, THE HAGUE – Russian President Vladimir Putin has ended his “special military operation” in Ukraine. North Korean leader Kim Jong Un says he will stop launching missiles and end his nuclear weapons program. Former U.S. President Donald […]

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Jan. 6 Committee to store docs at Mar-a-Lago

  By Styles Cradgerock, PALM BEACH — The committee investigating the deadly insurrection at the U.S. capitol  has decided to accept an offer from former U.S. President Donald Trump to store its evidence against him at his Florida estate, Mar-a-Lago. […]

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Brahms shot dead in Paris

By DJ Salinger, Paris, THE LOUVRE – Brahms was shot dead in front of this city’s first Taco Bell  on Friday by a fan who said he was upset at the pianist’s new musical direction and clothes. Police declined to […]

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Gorbachev won’t attend own funeral

By Styles Cradgerock, MOSCOW ON THE HUDSON – Mikhail Gorbachev has responded to Vladimir Putin’s statement that he won’t attend the former Russian leader’s funeral. “I’m not going, either,” Gorbachev, affectionately known by fans as Gorby, said Friday. “I have […]

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Man irons new wrinkles into shirt

By J. Andrew Hollingsworth, Special to The Brutal Times, RIYADH – I was ironing my shirt for work, the white long-sleeved one, and I was almost finished when I noticed that I had ironed more wrinkles into it. I’d say […]

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I like pushing buttons on my computer

By Michael Dean, Special to The Brutal Times, BOISE- I like pushing buttons on my computer. I’m not a fan of touchscreens because stabbing the glass like I’m doing now on my iPhone hurts my fingers. Let me explain. I’m […]

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Man replies to email without reading it

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