Delicious Topping

Ordinary People

Yo! This is the place celebrities come to check up whutchewandme been up to! Yar! You know – where you get your reality check and get to see how the real folks live. The “long hard slog” as Rumsfeld put it.

Waiter gave me a wobbly table

By Blair G. Moluba, Special to The Brutal Times, CHICAGO — It’s not easy to find a quiet cafe where you can unwind and catch up on work on your laptop while checking your texts on your phone. So I […]

Man irons new wrinkles into shirt

By J. Andrew Hollingsworth, Special to The Brutal Times, RIYADH – I was ironing my shirt for work, the white long-sleeved one, and I was almost finished when I noticed that I had ironed more wrinkles into it. I’d say […]

I like pushing buttons on my computer

By Michael Dean, Special to The Brutal Times, BOISE- I like pushing buttons on my computer. I’m not a fan of touchscreens because stabbing the glass like I’m doing now on my iPhone hurts my fingers. Let me explain. I’m […]

I Got Probs

By Hessy Marin, Special to The Brutal Times, BOSTON- I got probs. Man, let me tell you! Things were goin’ pretty swell for a while there – new boy, new apartment – even a new car…

Then, I won the lottery.

My Feet Hurt

By Roger Talock, Special to The Brutal Times, MILWAUKEE – My feet hurt.
Know why?
From walkin’ ’round all the time!
Yeah, no, and what’s more is you can’t even bring it up no more.
Feet are killin’ you?
That’s too bad, my boy.
No one wants to give my feet story the time of day.

Until today.

Morning Person Pisses Everyone Off

By Owen Richardson, Special to The Brutal Times, KANSAS – Morning people. Who makes them? God, probably. But as time goes on, can we really be so sure? When we cross paths with a morning person after a long night of self-abuse and injurious introspection are we really so well-advised to defer to that person, saying things like, “Uh-huh,” and “Yes, I was listening,” and “Top of the day to you, too, Squire.”?

Guy’s Nose Ring Looks Like a Booger

By Smia Oots, VANCOUVER – I saw a guy riding a bike with one of them nose rings?
It looked like a booger.
“Booger” means booger in Canadian English.
“It’s not a booger – it’s a piercing,” the guy, Dale Barrings, 16, a loans officer at Scotia Bank, told me.
But it sure looks like a booger.

Doubt is a Ballbreaker & Most are Filled with Crushing Loneliness: Study

By Ray Goolens, THE ATTIC – Doubt is a ballbreaker and most folks are filled with a crushing loneliness, according to a landmark Tweet, issued by prestigious Caribbean think tank MyGoodies this morning.

I’m Too Tired to Cook

By Karl Hame III, Special to The Brutal Times – When I get home from life on the road I don’ t want to talk to nobody and I just keep wishin’ I was back in ‘Nam.

Wait – no, that’s not it at all.

I’m a kids mom, and when I get home from school I’m too tired to cook.

My Pony Tail is Killing Me

By Zack Peters, Special To The Brutal Times – As a long-haired white man I face a lot of discrimination, both in the workplace and from folks on the bus and in my own home.