Warm Topic Archives: los angeles

CNN & Yahoo Tie for Best 2009 Cute Pet Stories

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By Styles Cradgerock, LOS ANGELES – As 2009 dies the horrible death it deserves all of Hollywood is saluting global media giants CNN and Yahoo for delivering the year’s most cutting-edge in-your-face cute pet stories.

In previous years – 2008, 2007 and so on, cute pet stories tended to be eclipsed by political coverage, current events, business news and so on.

But God said from now on, “Let it be otherwise”.

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Tomb of the Unknown Session Musician Found Under Phil Spector’s House

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By DJ Salinger, LOS ANGELES – Despite the general lack of interest, spell-binding stories keep surfacing regarding sensational superstar pop music producer Phil Spector, now imprisoned for murder inside the seaside Sing Sing prison.

Tuesday, a local L.A. lad appeared to have discovered a bottomless tomb under Spector’s mammoth residence/studio.

“I crawled under there looking for my baseball and I think I found a tomb full of unknown session musicians,” the boy, Darryl RJ Dennison, 37, said.

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New Fear for Michael:Rock n’ Roll Heaven is ‘Full’

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By DJ Salinger, LOS ANGELES – Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, The Notorious B.I.G., Cindi Lauper – all were stars trying to make it in the City of Angels who died trying before they ever got an honest break.

And now added to the list, former Jackson 5 frontman, singing sensation Michael Jackson.

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Mythical Thom Yorke Comedy Album Found

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By DJ Salinger, LONDON – Brits cheered news this morning that the holy grail of Radiohead fans – a lost Thom Yorke stand up comedy triple album, had been found under a box of Kleenex in a Los Angeles record producer’s gated estate.

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Got Allergies? Try Charles Manson’s Cookie Diet

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By Grande Chef Otto, LOS ANGELES – A lot of people I know are suffering from allergies these days – hay fever, peanut butter, claustrophobia and arachnophobia being at the top of the list.

But a nifty new diet developed by charismatic California convict Charles Manson is headed straight to your cuisine rescue, courtesy of Japanese impressario Matsumoto Boy and his casually-dressed office tower full of plebes and flunkies.

The product? Charles Manson’s cookie diet.

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I Wanna Get Plastic Surgery – On my Mind!

By Dr Ray Goolens (Special to The Brutal Times), LOS ANGELES – Do people feel insecure about their looks? Yes they do. A typical remedy for this in the USA may be a short trip to the plastic surgeon. My […]

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George Lucas to Shoot Chinese Democracy Videos

George Lucas is ready to rumble. Locked and loaded with energy after the stunning success of his latest act of self-sabotage Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, the gruff-as-ever Lucas confirmed Monday that he is slated to direct the first of seven videos from Guns N’ Roses fresh out the oven Chinese Democracy album.

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