Warm Topic Archives: 2008 US election

A Penetrating Look Inside McCain

By Barry Hussein, TEXAS – Maverick Arizona senator and recent candidate for US president John McCain is hard at work applying the finishing touches to his tell-all campaign trail memoir, “Inside McCain”, due out this Christmas.

After McCain fell asleep last night at his standing desk (that’s right – he sleeps upright) I sneaked round him and by tongs pulled the moist manuscript from a secret location on his person where it had been secretly secreted.

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Pentagon Chef Admits Strategy in Afghanistan Not Succeeding

VIRGINIA- Revered Pentagon head chef Pierre de Papineau has locked horns with the White House over the administration’s plans to continue what the Grande Chef calls “a strategy that is, frankly, I tell you honestly, not working,” in the war in Afghanistan.

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Sarah Palin Threw My Hockey Puck in the Lake!

Alaska – Little is known about Sen. John McCain’s newly announced running mate Sarah Palin. But you can count on The Brutal Times to bring you the stories no one else can. We’ve unconvered what could be a bombshell once Obama’s people get thier hands on it.

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McCain Feels The Heat For Romulan ‘Slur’

By Barry Hussein, DETROIT- Freshly-minted Republican primary front-runner John McCain may have placed his chances of victory this Tuesday in Michigan in jeopardy. McCain, 71, who ran much of his campaign for the presidency in 2000 aboard a bus known […]

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Hillary Stuck In Tight 3-Way With Obama And Edwards

By Styles Cradgerock, IOWA – With both Democratic and Republican caucus members braving record-low freezing temps to root for their favored candidates early this morning, hushed voices in the Democratic camp were overheard whispering that former front runner Hillary Clinton […]

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John Edwards Will Continue To Tell The Truth

By Styles Craderock, Nevada, HENDERSON – A beaming US Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards told gathered members of the media and a smattering of locals Tuesday in Nevada that he “will continue to tell the truth, for the rest of […]

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