By Styles Craderock, Nevada, HENDERSON – A beaming US Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards told gathered members of the media and a smattering of locals Tuesday in Nevada that he “will continue to tell the truth, for the rest of the campaign.”
After the campaign is finished Edwards said “I will spin tasty yarns the likes of you’ve never seen before. My grampa was a seaman, and growing up poorer than Hillary or Barack I had no choice for entertainment other than to listen to grampa’s hundreds, perhaps thousands of salty tales of hardened men at sea.”
Edwards campaign ads previewed by veteran political commentator Barry Hussein (The Brutal Times) were said to contain stinging criticisms of Senator Clinton and Obama’s television viewing habits.
“Edwards never had a TV,” Mr Hussein said. “But his parents restricted his viewing time of his grandfather, much like your parents or mine might have restricted our tv time.”
The ads allegedly highlight oral storytelling. During one, a sidewalk chalk artist’s conception of the Greek bard Homer, a legendary oral storyteller in his own right, morphs first into the face of Edwards’ grampa, and then into the face of Edwards himself.
Senator Obama called on Edwards to cease “the kind of personal attacks that not only keep us divided as a party, but as a country.” He further challenged the Edwards camp to produce “any evidence, any evidence at all that I have ever even seen a television.”
Senator Clinton’s campaign press officer Alison Kloss responded to news of the Edwards strategy with a blunt dismissal of its effectiveness.
According to Ms Kloss, polls taken by Clinton staffers show that most voters are not only uninterested in the sea, but that 86% of voters “are afraid of it.”