My Son Is Spending Too Much Time In His Room

Dear Damien,

I am a stay at home mom. My son Mango spends alot of time using your invention the internet. That’s all fine & dandy and I am glad you made it because you are an American like myself. But, and this is one big but let me tell you – Mango seems to be spending too much time in his room.

What is he doing in there? I looked at the internet once and no offence, but it didnt seem that interesting.

Kate Henshaw, Stay at home mom – Detroit Michigan

Dear Ms. Henshaw,

Let me say first it is an honor to receive your message. I don`t get a lot of mail from stay at home moms and it warms my heart to hear that you are keeping up the good fight.

In answer to your query “What is he doing in there?” : Auto-erotic asphyxiation.

About The Brutal Times

A bit of a toff, really, Admin inhaled the classics early. His ears are ringing and he plans...to answer them.
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3 Responses to My Son Is Spending Too Much Time In His Room

  1. Master Paul Snailkfd says:

    Dear Sirs:

    I bought all the items you suggested. I took them out of their boxes and I built a robot out of fingernails. Now I have fallen in love with him. But he won’t look at me. I’m out of my mind with the desire to hurl myself at him. Do I risk landing myself in court or in heaven (sic).

    Master Paul Snailkfd – owner/manager Master Paul’s Wide and Tall Shops. Ask Paul for a glimpse of his new husky man’s firefighter boots.

  2. admin says:

    Dear “master paul etc”, Did you know? When you log on to the world wide Internet machine you agree by logging on, to complete and utter honesty. the act of assuming a suedonym on the Internet machine is a criminal offense punishable by Interpol and Bill & Melinda Gates.

  3. Master Paul Snailkfd says:

    Master Paul: Hello Mr. Admin. Why don’t you answer my question?

    Admin: I don’t like you Master Paul. You are a lazy flatulant attention seeker.

    Master Paul: Kill Robot Kill!

    Robot: Grrrrr!!!

    Admin: Eeeee!!!

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