Warm Topic Archives: marshall stack

Interview Schminterbiew

By Ghazala Khan (Special to The Brutal Times) TOKYO –

The following interview was conducted by Ghazala Khan of The Pakistani Spectator. It recalls a friendlier, more innocent time when staff members of The Brutal Times could casually gather around the fried chicken dispensor in the BT offices at Shimokitazawa Hills. A time when birds chirped, but not too loudly. Before the layoffs and the name-calling. Two weeks ago.

Posted in Delicious Toppings | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Cock Blocker Leaves Canada Open for Anarchy

By Marshall Stack, TORONTO – As winter whips its icy way through this Eastern Canadian business capital the only thing that can match the plummeting market descent are the near -100 degree C plummeting temps. And the only place to warm your balls may be the nearest local pub.

But wait. Someone is knocking at the door. Could it be – anarchy?

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Kill!Kill!Kill!: Marshall Stack Hits The Dirt in Hogtown

By Marshall Stack, TORONTO-

The Canadian spring is now nearing lateness, and all about is green with life. Squirrels are screaming in the trees as raccoons shuffle earthward to defecate.

Posted in Canaduh | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Librarians Threaten National Security

  By Marshall Stack (NEW YORK CITY) -At the Pinecrest Public Libary in Quikton, things just aren’t the same. Gone are the boisterous crowds of youngsters eager to chew the fat in low whispers about their favorite scribes. No longer […]

Posted in Bookmobile | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

One Man’s Opinion: Opera Sucks

By Marshall Stack (TORONTO)- Musicologist Matt Von Vertmoor is a man driven. Each morning at exactly five a.m. he leaves his tiny downtown apartment and travels by subway to the Canadian Opera Company’s Performance Venue on Queen St. West. After […]

Posted in Latest Brutality, Thinking Man's Rock | Tagged , , , , , , | 7 Comments

‘My Life Was A Pecan-Glazed Hell’: Confessions Of A Wicker Addict

By Marshall Stack, NEW YORK- Luke Lundy speaks quickly through thin, lip balm stained fingers as he peers furtively out at the world through the same fingers he is trying to speak through. This is no easy task for the […]

Posted in Featured Brutality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Cheese: Legal Tender in Canada by 2014

By Marshall Stack, CANADA (Thornloe) -In the normally tepid hamlet of Thornloe, Ontario, there is an air brewing in the air. There is a buzz around the lone traffic light and the door of the convenience store is being opened and summarily closed far more often than usual. Why the sturm und drang?

Posted in Canaduh, Featured Brutality | Tagged , , , , , , | 15 Comments