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Iraq

The Brutal Times’ award-winning copy and pasting aboot the humanitarian intervention.

Iraq Parliamentary Election Spoilers

Iraqi policemen examine the remains of a vehicle used in a bomb attack in Najaf

By Barry Hussein, BAGHDAD – As you find yourself spent from the Olympics and the Academy Awards you’re probably gonna wanna bone up on the key players in this weeks’ exciting Iraqi parliamentary elections. We at the Brutal Times care about your street cred and status as “that cool kid” on your block. So, for all the piping hot spoilers about this year’s democratic vote that time fergot, see below, Joe.

Iranian Unrest Threatens Air Miles

map-iran

By Styles Cradgerock, DETROIT – As you know we’re all connected by the globalization. And so the unrest in Iran is threatening our air miles.

Accidental Airlines, one of America’s premier low budget fliers says millions, maybe zillions of miles may not be honored or waved entirely due to the crisis.

Japan Gives Iran 9 Volcanoes

volcano

By Ohashi Jozu, TOKYO – Just as Barack Obama America’s first black president has offered Iran “a new day” via his personal VHS videotape message to Iran’s president Saddam Hussein, Japan, the world’s second superpower is giving Iran nine volcanoes on Tuesday.

“Japan, one of our most ah steadfast uh allies – in the fight to ah, to really get things turned around over there ah in Iran, has ah to the best of our knowledge, ah promised to deliver those volcanoes before breakfast to ah Mr Hussein,” Mr Obama commented via his Blackberry text machine.

U.S. TV Networks Leaving Iraq

By The Serge, Sadr City, IRAQ – After 5 years of popular US shows being written, produced and directed in this magnificent mountainous country all but one of the major US tv networks has admitted it has plans to pull the plug on its studio facilities here before the end of 2009.

Iraqis Strive To Top 2006 Death Toll

By Styles Cradgerock, Iraq, BAGHDAD – With time running out as December nears to a close Baghdadis of all sizes, sects and credit histories rushed to kill one another and top 2006′s death toll. Brushing aside US and Blackwater Construction […]