U.S. TV Networks Leaving Iraq

By The Serge, Sadr City, IRAQ – After 5 years of popular US shows being written, produced and directed in this magnificent mountainous country all but one of the major US television networks has admitted it has plans to pull the plug on its studio facilities here before the end of 2009.

Among the compelling hit programs that will no longer be based in Iraq are Full House, 3rd Rock From The Sun, and Frasier.

The loss of Frasier hits Iraqis particularly hard as the word “frasier” means “essential human heart lifeblood thing” and “good luck word for chance to bone mysterious hot-looking girl”. It means other things too, but the English explanations for those are even longer.

You don’t believe me?

OK, one other one is “blobular husky smelling illegal but maybe okay just for you type thing plus good luck word for chance to bone mysterious hot-looking girl”. Satisfied?

So, they’re all leaving and people are sad because the invasion, like it or not, was a big plus for Iraqi tv.

“Yes, it is true, we like their shows – so what?” offered one shopkeeper.

The one remaining US tv network – CSPAN – will continue to serve up its daily menu of American political highlights. While some may see this as good news, even after more than 5 years of daily viewing many Iraqis admitted they are confused by the programme.

“I don’t get it – who’s the main character?” complained Nabil Hanef, 30. “It’s not as good as Frasier,” he added.

About the serge

Channeling Pascal (The source of all man's misfortune is his inability to stay in his room) the serge confides, "In my day, we didn't call them love hotels - we called them sex hotels." Begging the question, Vuvuzela avec moi, ce soir?, BT readers get so much pleasure out of his columns they...ought to be punished.
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