By El Toro, NEW YORK CITY – As six former US presidents sat down for a delicious lunch with President George W Bush and president-elect Barack Obama every face at the table beamed with bi-partisan glee.
Yet one bi-partisan person, who was left out of the historic meet-and-greet held at Washington’s most prestigious eatery Ssh…Kebab, is feeling “hurt…surprised…and perhaps even a little vengeful.”
The Dark Knight, or “Batman” as some older folks insist on calling him, arrived in Washington on time for the scheduled 2pm luncheon and give his name to Ssh…Kebab doorman Hans Oots.
“I’m the Dark Knight, of Gotham City, duly entrusted by the citizens of Gotham to protect them from harm under the power of Commissioner Gordon,” Mr Oots recounted the caped crusader informing him as he waited to be shown to the table where the luncheon was taking place.
However, “Unfortunately, I couldn’t seat the gentleman,” Oots said regrettably. “His name was not on the list.”
According to Oots and Ssh…Kebab waitress Sondra Dunk, who uploaded some footage of the scene to YouTube from her sexy iPhone, The Dark Knight repeatedly tried calling Mr Obama on his iPhone, but to no avail.
“He, like, went across the street and waited there like in the Burger King, and I got a couple of shots of him like fuming there, just like hitting redial over and over,Ms Dunk said, 22, playing with her shoulder-length natural blonde locks.
A spokesperson for Mr Obama would not confirm whether or not the Dark Knight had been mistakenly barred from the lunch. The Brutal Times has made no effort to contact anyone regarding details.
Typically, however, the Dark Knight is invited to all such gatherings, with the exception of buffet-style lunches, because of a past “incident” according to Rick J. Kartmit, who has authored nine books on US government lunches. “He should have been invited,” says Kartmit. “That much is a no-brainer.”
A “no-brainer” is something you need not trouble yourself thinking about.
Here in New York, regular folks steamed over what they felt was a perfect chance to get steamed.
“I may turn over a car and set fire to its’ bottom,” commented retiree Glen Jiffs, 69.
Young people as usual, seemed disinterested.
“We don’t care about your old person world,” sneered my son, Dougal Toro, 5. “By the way – I’m wasted,” he went on.