Warm Topic Archives: new york

Batman Fires Robin

By Smia Oots, NEW YORK CITY – The tentacles of the global economic crisis, or GECK as it is lovingly known by fans, have finally reached Gotham City itself, and into the Louis Vuitton pocketbook of the Batman himself.

Commissioner Gordon announced through his FaceBook homepage that “Batman has fired Robin,” effective as of 4pm this Tuesday March 10.

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Dark Knight Angered By Presidential ‘Snub’

By El Toro, NEW YORK CITY – As six former US presidents sat down for a delicious lunch with President George W Bush and president-elect Barack Obama every face at the table beamed with bi-partisan glee.

Posted in Highlighted Brutality, Hollywood Pap, Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Senator…Madonna? New Yorkers Want Material Girl to Run

As CNN persists in its coverage of that boring Gaza invasion by Israel, center of the Earth, New York City is all hopped up and ready over what everyone here all ready knows is really 2009’s top story: the effort to draft Madonna as New York’s new senator.

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Casual Mondays Plan Raises Alarm at Goldman Sachs

By Business Jesus, NEW YORK CITY- With financial markets in turmoil this week after industry giant Lehman Brothers disintegrated and the once most reliable player on the scene, Merrill Lynch, was gobbled up by the Bank of America, traders and […]

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This Heat is Killing Me!

By Todd U. Janeway (Special to the Brutal Times) – Oh God! Oh Gawwwwwwwwwd! This heat is killing me! I mean, don’t get me wrong – I like to think of myself as a “summer person” by nature. I like […]

Posted in Ordinary People | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments