Warm Topic Archives: axl rose

Guns N’ Roses Tour Began 2 Years Ago – Minus Axl

By DJ Salinger, TAMPA – Troubling signs that the band formerly known as Guns N’ Roses (the group officially changed their name to N’ earlier this year) mistakenly began the worldwide tour for their semen release album “Chinese Democracy” minus lead singer Axl Rose continue to pop up online.

Posted in Thinking Man's Rock | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

New Fear for Michael: Rock n’ Roll Heaven is ‘Full’

By DJ Salinger, LOS ANGELES – Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, The Notorious B.I.G., Cindi Lauper – all were stars trying to make it in the City of Angels who died trying before they ever got an honest break.

And now added to the list, former Jackson 5 frontman, singing sensation Michael Jackson.

Posted in Thinking Man's Rock | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

‘I Went Camping with Axl Rose’ Cock Blocker Insists

By Cock Blocker, Honorable Prime Minister du Canada, Special to The Brutal Times, Tender Foot Provincial Park, Northern Ont. CANADA –

So, seriously I know it was him!

I prefer to camp alone because my job is shit and my wife’s a bitch and she hates camping. I like to come out as soon as the locks thaw out enough to get the doors open.

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Guns N’ Roses Change Name to N’

By DJ Salinger, LOS ANGELES – This city of Angels, made popular by the once popular Red Hot Chili Peppers, was shock-rocked late this afternoon when Horace the town crier, who has replaced the LA Times as the most-often consulted news source, cried “GN’R change name to N’, GN’R change name to N'”.

Posted in Thinking Man's Rock | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Chinese Democracy Bail-out to Cost $986 Billion

As details of the Democrats’ 1 trillion dollar budget request continue to leak out the president-elect has been mulling the final touches of what amounts to the priciest financial bail-out plan made in US political history.

Posted in Thinking Man's Rock | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

George Lucas to Shoot Chinese Democracy Videos

George Lucas is ready to rumble. Locked and loaded with energy after the stunning success of his latest act of self-sabotage Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, the gruff-as-ever Lucas confirmed Monday that he is slated to direct the first of seven videos from Guns N’ Roses fresh out the oven Chinese Democracy album.

Posted in Highlighted Brutality, Thinking Man's Rock | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments