Delicious Topping

Sick Bay

As we here at The Brutal Times age faster than you can say Lady Gaga, long Led Zepplin beards shooting off our Hobbit faces, we’re liable to pump up the jams in this category faster than you can…ah, where was I? Where am I?

Who Declares Flu a Pandemic

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By DJ Salinger, NEW YORK CITY – Roger Waters and Pete Townshend of The Who declared swine flu “a pandemic” today at an historic concert/lecture given by the two towering talents at New York’s fantastic United Nations.

Smiling Linked to Cancer

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By Smia Oots, LONDON – Prestigious Caribbean think tank MyGoodies confirmed what most people knew already today when they declared a landmark study on all cancers has linked them to smiling.

“Ya, just don’t smile and you’ll be okay,” confirmed Rom Hatzug, 24, a barista turned molecular biologist due to a typo on his temp resume.

He wasn’t smiling when he said it.

I Wanna Get Plastic Surgery – On my Mind!

By Dr Ray Goolens (Special to The Brutal Times), LOS ANGELES – Do people feel insecure about their looks? Yes they do. A typical remedy for this in the USA may be a short trip to the plastic surgeon. My […]

Do You Have a Headache in Your Stomach?

By Dr McGillicutty, MOUNT SUMERU – Each week I’m greeted by the mule pack mail mountain man who crosses many wonderful and terrible realms to bring me what I would classify as a f**king s**tload of letters from you, my […]

DIY Organ Transplants – Easier Than You Thought

By Brutal Times Health Watch Doctor Wayne McGillicutty, SMILES – You may have foolishly thought that major operations like transplants were best left to surgeons in hospitals, but one Toronto area man is seeking to change all that. “The myth […]