Delicious Toppings
- Ask Daemon Mailer
- Backpackers
- Bookmobile
- Business Jesus
- Canaduh
- Conversational Gold
- Delicious Toppings
- Disco Island
- Exclusive!
- Featured Brutality
- Grande Chef Otto
- Highlighted Brutality
- Hollywood Pap
- Iraq
- Japan
- Latest Brutality
- Ordinary People
- Party Central
- Presidential Daily Brief
- Santa
- Schadenfreude
- Sick Bay
- Special Report
- Stories For Bottoms
- Thinking Man's Rock
-
Repeat Offenders
Sugar Daddies
Known Associates
What's on the Internet Tonight?
- 2channel
- 2channel Wiki blurb
- Al Arabiya
- Arts and Letters Daily
- Atlantic Monthly Back Issues
- Atlantic Wire
- Big coffee drinkers hallucinate more
- Big Daikon Forum
- Budget Trouble
- Channel 101
- Classic Essay:Why can't I own a Canadian?
- Daily Show
- Darkplace
- David Foster Wallace's String Theory
- David Lynch
- DJ Pancake
- Drudge Report
- Esquire Magazine Fiction
- Exile Archive
- Exiled
- Fangoria
- Final Bush press conference draws yawns
- Fucked Gaijin
- Funny or Die
- Georgian president joins US army
- GyaO!
- Hangover cures
- Howling Fantods!
- I like my coffee buraku
- I'm Alan Partridge
- Interview Magazine
- Interview Magazine Archives
- Japan Times
- Japan Today
- Jonathan Franzen 12 page article on DFW and Robinson Crusoe
- McSweeney's
- N + 1 Mag Archives
- New York Times
- New Yorker Fiction Archive
- News From A.P.
- Nico Nico Douga
- Nico Nico Douga Wiki blurb
- NME
- Paris Review
- Phantom Blooper
- Pravda
- Project Gutenberg
- Qatar's multicultural rainbow
- Rent-a-friend in Japan
- Rolling Stone
- Saturday Night Live
- Sex Pistols movie script Who Killed Bambi?
- The Thick Of It
- Tokyo Gig Guide
- Ultimate Classic Rock
- Vanity Fair Archives
- WFMU
- Wiki Leaks
Warm Topic Archives: Japan
Espresso, Lattes, Rats!
By Ohashi Jozo, SHIMOKITAZAWA HILLS – Shimokitazawa, Tokyo. The summer of the American hipster. Blacky oversized chunky Williamsburger glasses leap from face to face, sucking all the shopping value out of a young Japonaise girl’s face and replacing it with…Ugly Betty!
Espresso, Lattes, Rats!
New TOEIC Test to Include Pillow Talk
By Ohashi Jozu, TOKYO – As you know many foreign man has come to Japan the purpose of which is to sex Japanese woman. At English conversational school and so on such seduction has become aplenty. Inside cube area such foreigners “teach” English to potential Japanese mate. One of such tests of conversational English is the many-feared TOEIC (Teach English I Can’t Take) test of English.
The new TOEIC test will include pillow talk.
Posted in Japan
Tagged bb fun corp, english prison, Japan, japanese daily life, new toic test, obama, ohashi jozu, pillow talk, ray goolens, starbucks, teach english in japan, the brutal times, toic test, tokyo
3 Comments
Nice Guy Turns Out to Be a Dick
Special to The Brutal Times, By Tammy Glynne, TAMPA – Finally, after years of searching, I thought I’d met the perfect mate – Brad Jackson, 25, great body, hair on his head a big fat bank account.
Heck, he even threw the occasional compliment my way.
“Babe, you’ve got great tits,” he said one day by the pool.
I thought he was such a nice guy.
Google Alert for Obama:North Korea Trying to Start a Big Fucking War
By Ohashi Jozu, TOKYO – Dear President-elect Obama/To Whom it May Concern, It’s great you became the president. I’m looking forward visiting your country some day when I get a free time.
By the way, did you know – North Korea is trying to start a big fucking war with Japan.
Who Declares Flu a Pandemic
By DJ Salinger, NEW YORK CITY – Roger Waters and Pete Townshend of The Who declared swine flu “a pandemic” today at an historic concert/lecture given by the two towering talents at New York’s fantastic United Nations.
Posted in Sick Bay
Tagged dj salinger, doomsday, global recession, gloom, health advisories, Japan, ozzy, ozzy osbourne, pandemic, pete townshend, roger waters, Sick Bay, the brutal times, the who, trains
Leave a comment
A Brutal Guide to Shimokitazawa 2: Lunching
By Grande Chef Otto, Tokyo, SHIMOKITAZAWA – I know I know, you’re all shaking your collective headbanging heads wondering why I’d go and do such a crazy thing.
Eat out in Shimokitazawa.
Well I was hungry.
Smorgasborg: The Gastronomic Cyborg
By Grande Chef Otto, TOKYO – Japan has shown China it is superior once again with Japanese technology giant BB FunCorp’s unveiling of Smorgasborg, the Gastronomic Cyborg yesterday at Denny’s.
Many weaklings in the audience vomited profusely when the saw the dishes Smorgas, had made.
Posted in Exclusive!, Japan, Stories For Bottoms
Tagged bb funcorp, cooking, cyborgs, dennys, Grande Chef Otto, Japan, japanese food, japanese robots, robots, smorgasborg
1 Comment
Japan Gives Iran 9 Volcanoes
By Ohashi Jozu, TOKYO – Just as Barack Obama America’s first black president has offered Iran “a new day” via his personal VHS videotape message to Iran’s president Saddam Hussein, Japan, the world’s second superpower is giving Iran nine volcanoes on Tuesday.
“Japan, one of our most ah steadfast uh allies – in the fight to ah, to really get things turned around over there ah in Iran, has ah to the best of our knowledge, ah promised to deliver those volcanoes before breakfast to ah Mr Hussein,” Mr Obama commented via his Blackberry text machine.
Posted in Iraq, Japan
Tagged barack obama, black berry, iran, iran-us relations, Japan, ohashi jozu, Presidential Daily Brief, saddam hussein, the brutal times, vhs, volcano, volcanoes
1 Comment
U2 = SoftBank: New CD Promotes Japanese Cell Phones
www.thebrutaltimes.com, By DJ Salinger, TOKYO – The new U2 album has debuted in Japan with some copies featuring a sticker on the front jacket of a grey equal sign logo (=) dead center.
And?
Ubiquitous Japanese cell phone giant SoftBank uses the exact same logo as their logo.
Roppongi is a ‘Sausagefest’ Declares Tokyo Mayor
By Ohashi Jozu, Roppongi, TOKYO – As you know many foreigners had come to Tokyo. The purpose of this travel is well-known – it is to sex Japanese female. Every year so many foreign man came to Tokyo with all-night backpack seeking to enjoy such activity.
But no more.