Warm Topic Archives: japanese food

A Brutal Guide to Shimokitazawa 2: Lunching

By Grande Chef Otto, Tokyo, SHIMOKITAZAWA – I know I know, you’re all shaking your collective headbanging heads wondering why I’d go and do such a crazy thing.

Eat out in Shimokitazawa.

Well I was hungry.

Posted in Grande Chef Otto, Japan | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Smorgasborg: The Gastronomic Cyborg

By Grande Chef Otto, TOKYO – Japan has shown China it is superior once again with Japanese technology giant BB FunCorp’s unveiling of Smorgasborg, the Gastronomic Cyborg yesterday at Denny’s.

Many weaklings in the audience vomited profusely when the saw the dishes Smorgas, had made.

Posted in Exclusive!, Japan, Stories For Bottoms | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

What’s Joaquin Phoenix Eating?

By Connie Roe, Special to the Brutal Times, BUFFALO – Hey Brutal Times, I was wondering. You got that Chef Otto, right? Could you ask him what Joaquin Phoenix is eating these days?

Boy, I think that guy has problems! He’s gotta be eating something downright strange. That would account for his wacky behavior on all those shows.

Posted in Ordinary People | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment