Warm Topic Archives: the serge

People who look nice are nice

June 6, 2019

By The Serge, PITTSBURGH – People who look nice are nice, a landmark study by Billy, a tween, has found. ”See that guy over there? That guy with the mustache and the curly hair, with his wife?” The one in […]

Posted in Go Deeper, Latest Brutality | Tagged people who look nice are nice, the brutal times, the serge | Leave a comment

Straight Man To Play Gay Man in Movie

October 28, 2010

By The Serge, HOLLYWOOD NORTH – Movie fans are famous for complaining that the producers of Hollywood’s biggest films have long since run out of ideas, but as the major studios get ready to battle at the box office this Halloween they may do well to hold onto their tongues and get ready for an explosion of creative juices, the likes the silver screen has never seen before.

Posted in Hollywood Pap | Tagged 3D, avatar, halloween, hollywood north, hollywood pap, matsumoto boy, ssh...kebab, straight man to play gay man in movie, the brutal times, the serge, tongues | 2 Comments

Many Misspell ‘Yemen’ as ‘Semen’ when Sexting

January 10, 2010

By Daemon Mailer, YEMEN – Tempers flared again Saturday as further details emerged showing growing numbers of teenagers, baby-boomers and seniors are constantly mispelling ‘Yemen’ as ‘Semen’ when sexting.

“I think it’s bloody ridiculous” ejaculated Troy Underwood, 23, who is vacationing in Yemen with his mother and her pet. “When I was in school, the sensei would whip us blind if we dared engage in such foolery,” he went on, attracting a small crowd.

Posted in Special Report | Tagged Presidential Daily Brief, ray goolens, semen, sexting, spelling mistakes, the brutal times, the serge, yemen | Leave a comment

Most Parties Bad, Study Shows

September 26, 2009

By The Serge, LOS ANGELES – Prestigious Caribbean think tank MyGoodies released what amounts to a 35-year landmark study on parties, “Parties: a Study”, today at Denny’s.

The result?

Most parties are bad.

Posted in Disco Island | Tagged afghanistan, bad parties, dennys, fergie, get into the groove, hotmail, my goodies, secret societies, temple university, the black eyed peas, the brutal times, the serge, war on terror, yuman | 1 Comment

Anonymous Found Dead

June 18, 2009

By The Serge, PARIS – This famous French city is being shock-rocked this morning as town criers shriek the news that the world’s most famous recluse has died.

Posted in Bookmobile | Tagged anonymous, celebrity deaths, death threats, deaths of famous people, good erotica, obscene phone calls, paris, ray goolens, the brutal times, the serge | Leave a comment

Dust Mite Circus Linked to Migraines

March 21, 2009

By The Serge, MONTREAL – Canada’s famed dust mite circus, Le Cirque du Dust Mite, has suffered a crushing blow today as a landmark Icelandic study has found proof viewing the talented mites can be linked to intense migraine headaches in audience members.

The migraines last for up to 40 years.

Posted in Canaduh | Tagged canada, canada's drinking water, Canaduh, cock blocker, dust mite circus, dust mites, headaches, lawsuits, migraines, montreal, new york english, the brutal times, the serge | Leave a comment

Interview Schminterbiew

February 10, 2009

By Ghazala Khan (Special to The Brutal Times) TOKYO –

The following interview was conducted by Ghazala Khan of The Pakistani Spectator. It recalls a friendlier, more innocent time when staff members of The Brutal Times could casually gather around the fried chicken dispensor in the BT offices at Shimokitazawa Hills. A time when birds chirped, but not too loudly. Before the layoffs and the name-calling. Two weeks ago.

Posted in Delicious Toppings | Tagged barry hussein, billy, bjork, bloggers, blogging, Business Jesus, daemon mailer, dj salinger, el toro, fried chicken, ghazala khan, Grande Chef Otto, interview, Japan, journalism, marshall stack, ohashi jozu, oprah, pasta la vista, Santa, shimokitazawa, smia oots, ssh...kebab, styles cradgerock, the brutal times, the pakisatni spectator, the serge, tokyo | Leave a comment

Obama: “Our Balls Are To The Wall”

January 21, 2009

By The Serge, WASHINGTON – An estimated two million people braved freezing temps to hear 44th president of the United States Barack Obama be sworn into office in this snow-covered city yesterday. And most of ’em stuck around for a little while after to hear him deliver his first speech as America’s new commander-in-chief.

“These are trying times,” Obama began as onlookers shouted and hollered in agreement. “Our balls are to the wall,” he went on.

Posted in Latest Brutality | Tagged america, balls, barack obama, dr ray goolens, ghostwriting, iphone, joe biden, matt drudge, obama inauguration, plagiarism, Presidential Daily Brief, snowsuit, sweat, the brutal times, the serge, washington, yin yang twins | 2 Comments

Obama Inauguration Spoiler: ‘I’m Celibate’

January 15, 2009

By The Serge, WASHINGTON – President-elect Barack Obama is poised to reveal a new direction for America just days from now.

Among the prominent speaking points in Mr Obama’s inauguration speech will be his official announcement of his celibacy,The Brutal Times has learned.

Posted in Highlighted Brutality | Tagged Add new tag, american idol, barack obama, cats, celibacy, dogs, inauguration speech, obama, spoilers, the brutal times, the serge, washington | Leave a comment

Chinese Democracy Bail-out to Cost $986 Billion

January 3, 2009

As details of the Democrats’ 1 trillion dollar budget request continue to leak out the president-elect has been mulling the final touches of what amounts to the priciest financial bail-out plan made in US political history.

Posted in Thinking Man's Rock | Tagged axl rose, barack obama, barry hussein, chinese democracy, dj salinger, global financial crisis, guns and roses, maxxed credit cards, the serge, Thinking Man's Rock, us financial cisis | Leave a comment