Warm Topic Archives: sex

Roppongi is a ‘Sausagefest’ Declares Tokyo Mayor

roppgirls

By Ohashi Jozu, Roppongi, TOKYO – As you know many foreigners had come to Tokyo. The purpose of this travel is well-known – it is to sex Japanese female. Every year so many foreign man came to Tokyo with all-night backpack seeking to enjoy such activity.

But no more.

Posted in Japan | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

My New Year Resolution: I Want Oprah’s Boobs

By Yana, (Special to The Brutal Times) SANTA MONICA – I don’t know about you, but in my social circle all the huffing and puffing around Oprah Winfrey’s boobs has consumed most of my winter holiday. People just could not – I mean could not leave Oprah’s boobs alone.

Posted in Ordinary People | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

GM Unveils New Sex Drive Car

By Styles Cradgerock, DETROIT – Just in time for Christmas, GM has unveiled its most fabulous machine yet – the sex-drive car! The sleek family auto known as the GM Phero, is 100% powered on the pheronome, which in case […]

Posted in Featured Brutality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Poll: Cool People ‘Don’t Feel Cool Enough’

Forget the global financial crisis. A new shocking wave of global concern is shock-rocking shoppers and commuters and threatening to add more lumps to everybody’s gravy, even those who chose not to order it. The cause for concern? Prestigious Caribbean think tank MyGoodies announced yesterday at Denny’s that according to in-depth research most cool people “don’t feel cool enough”.

Posted in Hollywood Pap, Latest Brutality, Schadenfreude | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Oprah’s Boobs ‘Too Hot to Handle’

By El Toro, OHIO – As memory of the three most boring presidential debates in history (excepting 1976′s Jimmy Carter vs himself) fade and pool in globs of earthy muck, word has surfaced through leaked campaign memos that both candidates […]

Posted in Latest Brutality, Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Ziagra Mania Grips Asia

By Grande Chef Otto, BANGKOK – A recent MyGoodies poll is showing that among high-paid male professionals in the U.S. and the U.K. who suffer from “lapus diversus atopiscus” (commonly known as impotence), a whooping 99.1% are jetting to Bangkok […]

Posted in Grande Chef Otto | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Japan Introduces ‘Foreigner-Only’ Train Compartments

By Ohashi Jozu, TOKYO – As the foreign population bursts and explodes in Japan, leading to more and more awkward moments between normal Japanese and uncouth Americans, forward-thinking Japanese transportation companies have come up with a novel solution: Foreigner-Only train […]

Posted in Featured Brutality, Japan | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments