Warm Topic Archives: coffee

I Need my Coffee

By Deborah Haines, Special to The Brutal Times, BALTIMORE – I need my coffee. It’s so hard to focus on all the data that I have to punch into PC at the office (I’m a data entry professional). The first thing I do when I get into the office at 8:13am every morning is uncork my jumbo Starbucks tumbler (I call him Iron Man) and pour myself out a healthy dollop of swirling burbly black teeth rot.

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Poll: Cool People ‘Don’t Feel Cool Enough’

Forget the global financial crisis. A new shocking wave of global concern is shock-rocking shoppers and commuters and threatening to add more lumps to everybody’s gravy, even those who chose not to order it. The cause for concern? Prestigious Caribbean think tank MyGoodies announced yesterday at Denny’s that according to in-depth research most cool people “don’t feel cool enough”.

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A Brutal Guide to Shimokitazawa: Dining Out

By Grande Chef Otto, TOKYO – As you know, hipsters of all shapes and sizes travel all over the world every year lugging their Canadian flag backpacks to and fro. Some of these so-called “backpackers” wind up on the highly-acidified streets of Shimokitazawa, a little ol’ town in Tokyo, I purchased from an ancient Japanese man a few years ago.

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