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Warm Topic Archives: styles cradgerock
Why Try Harder?: 2012 Republican Presidential Master Debate 8 Spoilers
By Styles Cradgerock,Florida, ORLANDO- Who’d want to go and sit through another Republican 2012 Presidential Master Debate? But with The Serge off sick and Barry Husein confined to his room I drew the short straw and jetted off from Tokyo to sunny Orlando, Florida to sleep through most of it, the 7th Republican Master Debate in as many weeks.
Posted in Exclusive!
Tagged barbara bachmann, bb fun corp, florida, fluffer, ice cream, michelle bachman dominatrix, mitt romney, orlando, Presidential Daily Brief, rick perry, rick the dick santorum, ringo starr's wife, romulan in the white house, romulus, styles cradgerock, the brutal times, why try harder? reoublican presidential 2012 master debate 8 spoilers
6 Comments
2012 Republican Presidential Master Debate Director’s Cut
The following is a Director’s Cut of the 2012 Republican presidential debate on Sept. 7, 2011, in Simi Valley, Calif., as corrected by The Brutal Times.
Posted in Presidential Daily Brief
Tagged 2012 fonzi scheme, 2012 republican presidential master debate director's cut, barry husein, iPad2, mitt romney, mitt romney's romulan heritage, Presidential Daily Brief, rick perry, styles cradgerock, the brutal times, transcript of the 2012 gop debate, us politics 2011 us election 2012
7 Comments
Ratko Mladic Changing His Name to Rick?
By Styles Cradgerock, THE HAGUE – The Hague’s newest catch, accused war criminal and Serbian general Ratko Mladic shocked followers on Twitter when he tweeted today:
“I’m thinking of changing my name…to Rick or…maybe Slobodan.”
Posted in Presidential Daily Brief
Tagged bb fun corp, beatles workout gadget, facebook, ghosts, julian assange jeans, matsumoto boy, muscleinin, ratko mladic changing his name to rick?, serbia wra crimes, slobodan, social networking tools, styles cradgerock, the ab four, the beatles, the brutal times, the hague, twitter
3 Comments
Obama’s Bin Laden is Dead Speech: The Director’s Cut
By Styles Cradgerock,WASHINGTON – Vital edutainment from U.S. President Barack Obama’s speech last night, confirming the death of Osama bin Laden was accidentally left on the White House cutting room floor, The Brutal Times has learned. The following is a Director’s Cut of the entire speech, with the president’s original 2008 campaign personality faithfully reassembled by fans old enough to remember.
Exclusive: Michael Ignatieff Was Born in Guam
By Styles Cradgerock, GUAM – Overshadowing Japan’s recent magnitude 9.0 earthquake and the U.S. Libyan humanitarian intervention, Canaduh’s 2011 federal election racheted up this morning when Billy, my neighbor and confidante, passed on something he had heard from someone.
Michael Ignatieff was born in Guam.
Iraq War Was “an Hoax” New Bush Book Says
By Styles Cradgerock, WASHINGTON – Boy, how the times have changed. Back in 2003, I was just another fresh face with chronic stomach pain trying to land an unpaid job at The Brutal Times when it was just a weekly free box of tissues handed out at my local car was and yet another young guy by the name of George W. Bush was just revving up to land a whopping kick on Middle East henchman Saddam Hussein’s kaboose.
Posted in Latest Brutality, Presidential Daily Brief
Tagged barack obama, car wash, clones, decision points, george w bush, iPad, Iraq War was an hoax says new bush book, neck & penis, paul mccartney, saddam hussein's kaboose, sgt. pepper, styles cradgerock, the brutal times, tony blair
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Hillary Clinton Announces 2112 Presidential Run
By Styles Cradgerock, TEXAS – Hot on the heels of the crushing body blow delivered to the U.S. President, the American Barack Obama by his party’s mid-term election upset, the question on everybody’s chapped lips is, “Will she run?” (“she” being Hillary, and “run” being for Mr. Obama’s current jobbie as leader of the free world).
Town criers and barely able to function baristas peppered Mrs. Clinton, whom also goes by the nom de plume Hillary, with questions about her height, favorite foods, and iPod contents.
“How about in 2016?” pressed Brutal Times intern Pfaff Onclear, 15, in between bites of a chicken falafel.
Hold the Lettuce: Afghan War Spoilers!
By Styles Cradgerock, YOUR MOMMA – Yes, thundercat! Weekend war watchers all over the world (Florida?) are pee-oh’d this morning to find that WikiLeaks has leaked a whole slewload of spoilers aspoiling how the bumpin’ Afghan intervention is gonna end
Jan Brewer is Dehydrated
By Styles Cradegerock, WASHINGTON – U.S. President, the American Barack Obama, sat down with Arizona Governor Jan Brewer recently and noticed alarming signs of dyhydration in her face.
“Evian?” he quipped.
“She needs to stay out of the sun, get a big floppy hat and moisturize, moisturize, moisturize,” he went on.
Obama said he understood the governor’s dehydration problem as he “personally struggled with dehydration myself” as a child.
“I..didn’t..get enough water,” he kept talking.
North Korea Accused of Snubbing South at Trendy Cafe
By Styles Cradgerock, SEOUL – People’ve got a tear in their beer over here as former buddies North and South Korea have ceased speaking, emailing , or chatting online. Oh no. Hot sweaty tensions were ratched up and ramped up [...]