Warm Topic Archives: styles cradgerock

CNN & Yahoo Tie for Best 2009 Cute Pet Stories

December 23, 2009

By Styles Cradgerock, LOS ANGELES – As 2009 dies the horrible death it deserves all of Hollywood is saluting global media giants CNN and Yahoo for delivering the year’s most cutting-edge in-your-face cute pet stories.

In previous years – 2008, 2007 and so on, cute pet stories tended to be eclipsed by political coverage, current events, business news and so on.

But God said from now on, “Let it be otherwise”.

Posted in Special Report | Tagged 2012, amanpour, awards, best cute pet stories of 2009, cnn, cute pet stories, cute pet videos, iran, john roberts, los angeles, ray goolens, sheeple, styles cradgerock, the brutal times, yahoo | Leave a comment

Iran’s Warheads Win Prestigious Design Award

September 29, 2009

By Styles Cradgerock, IKEA – This thriving, bustling hustling country of 35 million yey-high design mavens and vixens is known been known worldwide as a hotbed of design ever since its yeh-high founder Kronkite Basta, 34 assembled it out of a box and drew oohs and ahs from those standing about.

With IKEA’s 17th annual Basta design awards lurking ahead next Sunday morning at dawn, a disgruntled unpaid intern has leaked news of this year’s winner for Best Nuclear Warhead Design, 2009.

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged ikea, iran, nuclear weapons, Presidential Daily Brief, rambo, saddam hussein, styles cradgerock, sylvester stallone, the brutal times, twins | 1 Comment

Iranian Unrest Threatens Air Miles

June 17, 2009

By Styles Cradgerock, DETROIT – As you know we’re all connected by the globalization. And so the unrest in Iran is threatening our air miles.

Accidental Airlines, one of America’s premier low budget fliers says millions, maybe zillions of miles may not be honored or waved entirely due to the crisis.

Posted in Iraq | Tagged accidental airlines, air miles, iran, iran election, saddam hussein, styles cradgerock, the brutal times, thingy, unrest | Leave a comment

Bin Laden Nixes Blu-Ray, Opts for VHS

March 14, 2009

By Styles Cradgerock, 177 Dusty Meadow Road, PAKISTAN – Classic War on Terror action figure and actual mass murderer Osama bin Laden is alienating younger followers this morning in his hideout with news that “all 2009 al Qaeda videos will be issued on VHS only”.

Nooooooo.

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged beta, blu-ray, jar jar binks, osama bin laden, pakistan, Presidential Daily Brief, student films, styles cradgerock, the brutal times, vhs, war on terror classic | Leave a comment

Interview Schminterbiew

February 10, 2009

By Ghazala Khan (Special to The Brutal Times) TOKYO -

The following interview was conducted by Ghazala Khan of The Pakistani Spectator. It recalls a friendlier, more innocent time when staff members of The Brutal Times could casually gather around the fried chicken dispensor in the BT offices at Shimokitazawa Hills. A time when birds chirped, but not too loudly. Before the layoffs and the name-calling. Two weeks ago.

Posted in Delicious Toppings | Tagged barry hussein, billy, bjork, bloggers, blogging, Business Jesus, daemon mailer, dj salinger, el toro, fried chicken, ghazala khan, Grande Chef Otto, interview, Japan, journalism, marshall stack, ohashi jozu, oprah, pasta la vista, Santa, shimokitazawa, smia oots, ssh...kebab, styles cradgerock, the brutal times, the pakisatni spectator, the serge, tokyo | Leave a comment

Bin Laden: Al Qaeda to Cut Part-Timers, Close Schools

January 14, 2009

By Styles Cradgerock, with Minx Cradgerock , PARIS – As hard times are felt all across the globe due to the worsening of the financial crisis everyone is looking for ways to pinch pennies and froog to the new frugal beat of 2009.

Duh.

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged al qaeda, al queda, anderson cooper, barry hussein, global economic crisis, global financial crisis, jarjar binks, job cuts, osama bin laden, part-time job cuts, Presidential Daily Brief, riyadh, saudi arabia, styles cradgerock, the brutal times, war on terror, you tube | 2 Comments

Few Want to Touch Obama’s Bulging Stimulus Package

January 8, 2009

By Styles Cradgerock, WASHINGTON – Despite his good looks and boyish smile, despite his taste in music (Springsteen) and way with words (“Yes we can”) it appears that fewer and fewer Americans want to touch his bulging stimulus package.

Posted in Latest Brutality, Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged barack obama, beer, few want to touch obama's bulging stimulus package, global economic crisis, halo, japanese mosaic, john mccain, Presidential Daily Brief, ray goolens, springsteen, styles cradgerock, the brutal times, U.S.financial crisis, USA, yes we can | 6 Comments

GM Unveils New Sex Drive Car

December 23, 2008

By Styles Cradgerock, DETROIT – Just in time for Christmas, GM has unveiled its most fabulous machine yet – the sex-drive car! The sleek family auto known as the GM Phero, is 100% powered on the pheronome, which in case [...]

Posted in Featured Brutality | Tagged car trouble, christmas, General Motors, global economic crisis, GM, new cars, renewable energy, sex, sex drive car, sex-drive, styles cradgerock, the brutal times, US auto bail-out, US economy | 2 Comments

Germany Arms for WWW III as World Markets Melt

October 6, 2008

By Styles Cradgerock, BERLIN – Perky German president Angela Merkel met today with concerned citizens groups in response to the recent shockwaves sent through Berlin’s markets stemming from the US financial meltdown. Merkel was firm in her resolve to “stay [...]

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged adventure, berlin, deprssion, germany, germany arms for WWWIII as markets melt, military, poverty, Presidential Daily Brief, recession, styles cradgerock, the allies, the brutal times, toys, US market woes, world financial crisis, www 2, www 3 | 3 Comments

Obama Announces Running Mate: It’s Michelle!!

August 23, 2008

WASHINGTON – We’ve just received word, ahead of the Twitter update the world is waiting for, from a source close to the presidential hopeful that Obama has decided to break with tradition and choose his wife, Michelle Obama, as his official running mate.

Posted in Highlighted Brutality, Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged democratic convention, michelle obama, obama, obama chooses running mate: it's michelle!, Presidential Daily Brief, rabeezio rabeezio, styles cradgerock, thebrutaltimes, US 2008 election, vice president | 2 Comments

Warm Topic Archives: styles cradgerock

CNN & Yahoo Tie for Best 2009 Cute Pet Stories

Iran’s Warheads Win Prestigious Design Award

Iranian Unrest Threatens Air Miles

Bin Laden Nixes Blu-Ray, Opts for VHS

Interview Schminterbiew

Bin Laden: Al Qaeda to Cut Part-Timers, Close Schools

Few Want to Touch Obama’s Bulging Stimulus Package

GM Unveils New Sex Drive Car

Germany Arms for WWW III as World Markets Melt

Obama Announces Running Mate: It’s Michelle!!

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