Warm Topic Archives: body blow

WikiLeaks Classical Composer Spoilers

By DJ Salinger, STOCKHOLM – Andy Warhol, CEO of WikiLeaks released an hot treasure trove of hot leaks fresh off his new album, Hot Leaks, The Brutal Times has learned. And the hottest among them?

Classical Composer spoilers.

Posted in Exclusive! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hillary Clinton Announces 2112 Presidential Run

By Styles Cradgerock, TEXAS – Hot on the heels of the crushing body blow delivered to the U.S. President, the American Barack Obama by his party’s mid-term election upset, the question on everybody’s chapped lips is, “Will she run?” (“she” being Hillary, and “run” being for Mr. Obama’s current jobbie as leader of the free world).

Town criers and barely able to function baristas peppered Mrs. Clinton, whom also goes by the nom de plume Hillary, with questions about her height, favorite foods, and iPod contents.

“How about in 2016?” pressed Brutal Times intern Pfaff Onclear, 15, in between bites of a chicken falafel.

Posted in Stories For Bottoms | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment