Warm Topic Archives: guns n roses

David Lee Roth Looks Like Steve Martin

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By DJ Salinger, LOS ANGELES – Van Halen fans watching the band’s just-released video with singer David Lee Roth for the song Tattoo, have been scratching themselves more than usual this week, as many were noticing that Roth now bears a striking resemblance to comedian Steve Martin.

“Well, the reason for that is quite obvious to me at least,” quipped Republican U.S. presidential candidate Ron Paul,76.

Oh, and why is that?

“That’s because he is Steve Martin.”

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Frankenband Spring: Billy Corgan Quits Smashing Pumpkins

Ronnie Spector, Billy Corgan and Steve Earl e headline the fourth annual "Waltz" benefit at Chicago's Metro, 23 March, 2002.

By DJ Salinger, DEMOCRATIC PEOPLES’ REPUBLIC OF IKEA – Billy Corgan, founding father of Green Day and the Smashing Pumpkins, quit the Smashing Pumpkins yesterday, after fans complained the band’s Ikea performance was “about as exciting as waiting for a bus.”

Posted in Thinking Man's Rock | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Guns N’ Roses Tour Began 2 Years Ago – Minus Axl

axl_rose

By DJ Salinger, TAMPA – Troubling signs that the band formerly known as Guns N’ Roses (the group officially changed their name to N’ earlier this year) mistakenly began the worldwide tour for their semen release album “Chinese Democracy” minus lead singer Axl Rose continue to pop up online.

Posted in Thinking Man's Rock | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

‘I Went Camping with Axl Rose’ Cock Blocker Insists

axlharper

By Cock Blocker, Honorable Prime Minister du Canada, Special to The Brutal Times, Tender Foot Provincial Park, Northern Ont. CANADA -

So, seriously I know it was him!

I prefer to camp alone because my job is shit and my wife’s a bitch and she hates camping. I like to come out as soon as the locks thaw out enough to get the doors open.

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Guns N’ Roses Change Name to N’

gunsnroses

By DJ Salinger, LOS ANGELES – This city of Angels, made popular by the once popular Red Hot Chili Peppers, was shock-rocked late this afternoon when Horace the town crier, who has replaced the LA Times as the most-often consulted news source, cried “GN’R change name to N’, GN’R change name to N’”.

Posted in Thinking Man's Rock | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

George Lucas to Shoot Chinese Democracy Videos

George Lucas is ready to rumble. Locked and loaded with energy after the stunning success of his latest act of self-sabotage Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, the gruff-as-ever Lucas confirmed Monday that he is slated to direct the first of seven videos from Guns N’ Roses fresh out the oven Chinese Democracy album.

Posted in Highlighted Brutality, Thinking Man's Rock | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments