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Warm Topic Archives: osama bin laden
Who’ll be Canada’s next Cock Blocker?: Master Debate Director’s Cut
By The Serge, TORONTO – U.S. President Barack Obama must have been kicking himself yesterday for his poorly-timed announcement celebrating the capture of terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden. TV and Internet viewers quickly cut away from Obama’s speech last night to watch previously unreleased highlights of Canaduh’s federal election master debate, held…maybe last week sometime. The master debate heavily factors in to most Canadians decision to elect the tiny country’s next leader, known traditionally by the honorific, “Cock Blocker”.
Posted in Canaduh
Tagged barack obama, canadian federal election 2011, Canaduh, giles duceppe, jack lauton, michael ignatieff, osama bin laden, star wars, stephen harper, the addams family, the brutal times, the munsters, who'll be canada's next cock blocker?: master debate director's cut
2 Comments
Obama’s Bin Laden is Dead Speech: The Director’s Cut
By Styles Cradgerock,WASHINGTON – Vital edutainment from U.S. President Barack Obama’s speech last night, confirming the death of Osama bin Laden was accidentally left on the White House cutting room floor, The Brutal Times has learned. The following is a Director’s Cut of the entire speech, with the president’s original 2008 campaign personality faithfully reassembled by fans old enough to remember.
500-year-old Book is Really Boring
By El Toro, PITTSBURGH – A 500-year-old book somebody found here the other day is really boring sources are telling the Brutal Times this morning.
“I didn’t even open the book – just looking at it made me drool all over myself,”
Posted in Highlighted Brutality
Tagged 500-year-old book is really boring, el toro, indiana jones' poop chute, inspired to rap on a bus, it made me drool all over myself, julian assange, osama bin laden, philosophy students, pittsburgh, professor rant foaming, radiohead vs kid rock, roy kesey at mcsweeney's, the brutal times
2 Comments
Bin Laden Nixes Blu-Ray, Opts for VHS
By Styles Cradgerock, 177 Dusty Meadow Road, PAKISTAN – Classic War on Terror action figure and actual mass murderer Osama bin Laden is alienating younger followers this morning in his hideout with news that “all 2009 al Qaeda videos will be issued on VHS only”.
Nooooooo.