Warm Topic Archives: stephen harper

Who’ll be Canada’s next Cock Blocker?: Master Debate Director’s Cut

By The Serge, TORONTO – U.S. President Barack Obama must have been kicking himself yesterday for his poorly-timed announcement celebrating the capture of terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden. TV and Internet viewers quickly cut away from Obama’s speech last night to watch previously unreleased highlights of Canaduh’s federal election master debate, held…maybe last week sometime. The master debate heavily factors in to most Canadians decision to elect the tiny country’s next leader, known traditionally by the honorific, “Cock Blocker”.

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Employees Don’t Have to Wash Their Hands Anymore

By Grande Chef Otto, TORONTO – Employees don’t have to wash their hands anymore, thanks to a tiny blast of laissez-faire attitude stemming from last weeks’ Canadian federal election debate in a garage at CBC.


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Friday the 13th: the Book Was Better

By Shane Butter, TOKYO – Oh god, how I was so looking forward to the new Friday the 13th movie. I read the book last summer during reading week as a break from grading my philosophy grad student papers, and when I heard they were gonna make a movie outta the thing I pooped my pants!

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