Warm Topic Archives: Thinking Man’s Rock

Oops: New Stooges Album Has Same Title as Biggie Smalls Debut

Ready To Die

The new Iggy & The Stooges album has the same title as The Notorious Big’s masterpiece debut.

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Jean Claude Van Damme To Join Van Halen

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By DJ Salinger, PARIS – Ah, Paris! Paris in the spring. What can one say about Paris? Only, it isn’t spring, and so far, to be be frank, almost all that’s been written about this golden city on the Seine is unreadable.

Unless you speak French.

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The Geddy Leesa “Lost, Missing or Stolen”

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By DJ Salinger, THE LOUVRE – Some people are caring this morning, as the prog rock art world’s most valuable sparkly treasure, the Geddy Leesa, has been reported lost, missing or stolen by its troll minder.

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Noel Gallagher Quits Oasis, China Says

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By DJ Salinger, SHANGHAI – China’s official news service (China’s Official News Service) is reporting this morning that British pop singing sensation Noel Gallagher may have quit Oasis, the world’s most popular shock-rock combo since The Beatles.

“Mr Noel doesn’t like his brother, and wants to experience a middling solo career apart from him (the brother),” said Dan Hartwig, spokesperson for CONS. “It’s just like when Paul quit The Beatles,” he speculated wildly.

Angry fans turned over cars and houses

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Neil Young Nude Challenges, Disappoints

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By DJ Salinger, VERMONT – 517,9876 fans gathered here on the eroding muddy banks of what was once merely a disenchanted unmarried farmer’s spinach farm to hear acts as diverse as Mozart Jr., to Venom and Neil Young (from Canada).

The 167th annual KISSS-FM New Horizons Festa, sponsored by homegrown ristorante Ssh…Kebab, featured special additions to this year’s programme that shocked some.

Neil Young performed nude.

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New Fear for Michael:Rock n’ Roll Heaven is ‘Full’

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By DJ Salinger, LOS ANGELES – Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, The Notorious B.I.G., Cindi Lauper – all were stars trying to make it in the City of Angels who died trying before they ever got an honest break.

And now added to the list, former Jackson 5 frontman, singing sensation Michael Jackson.

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Mythical Thom Yorke Comedy Album Found

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By DJ Salinger, LONDON – Brits cheered news this morning that the holy grail of Radiohead fans – a lost Thom Yorke stand up comedy triple album, had been found under a box of Kleenex in a Los Angeles record producer’s gated estate.

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Rush’s 2112 Estates Mostly Unsold

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By DJ Salinger, TORONTO – Coveted Rush 2112 Estates mostly lie empty as people in this super funky fried chicken hipster town are rushing headlong instead towards more affordable housing.

“I really wanted a Rush condo,” said Basil Head, 43 “but I’m rushing headlong instead towards more affordable housing.”

But where, dude?

“In my mother’s basement – it’s got laundry.”

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Madonna Wants to Adopt a Canadian

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By DJ Salinger, TORONTO – Charismatic wall of spunk Canadian Prime Minister Cock Blocker is preparing Team Blocker to deal with Madonna over her rumored plans to adopt a Canadian before summer’s end.

“Le priminister du Canada, Monseiur Cocque Blocquer will not permit such a thing to happen without much money flowing into his secret pants pocket,” insisted Remy LeFontaine, 12.

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Oh-oh, Ah-ha Change Name to Uh-huh

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By DJ Salinger, SEATTLE – One of the most influential shock-rock groups on the Seattle grunge scene, Ah-ha, have announced plans to change their name to Uh-huh.

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