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Warm Topic Archives: avril lavigne
By DJ Salinger, VERMONT – 517,9876 fans gathered here on the eroding muddy banks of what was once merely a disenchanted unmarried farmer’s spinach farm to hear acts as diverse as Mozart Jr., to Venom and Neil Young (from Canada).
The 167th annual KISSS-FM New Horizons Festa, sponsored by homegrown ristorante Ssh…Kebab, featured special additions to this year’s programme that shocked some.
Neil Young performed nude.
By DJ Salinger, WASHINGTON – Music fans around the globe are rejoicing in news that one of rock’s most treasured genres – that of “punk rock” has been officially declared “very much alive” by a bi-partisan Congressional Commission which had been studying the issue on weekends since 1983.
By Barry Hussein, HOUSTON – Nobel prize-winning man Al Gore met with concerned celebrities this morning at Denny’s to discuss the nation’s largest decline of headroom since the 1930’s.
Celebrities, Gore says need headroom more than most because their heads are proven to be more inflated than nobodies, or typical consumers.
“We have to act now,” Gore said.
By Marshall Stack, TORONTO – As winter whips its icy way through this Eastern Canadian business capital the only thing that can match the plummeting market descent are the near -100 degree C plummeting temps. And the only place to warm your balls may be the nearest local pub.
But wait. Someone is knocking at the door. Could it be – anarchy?
By Ohashi Jozu,TOKYO – Eileen Fuchenzie couldn’t wait to come to Japan. The 22 year-old Canadian philosophy major at York University spent months packing and re-packing die-hard Canadian staples like Kraft Dinner macaroni and cheese, ampules of maple syrup, and […]