Warm Topic Archives: britney spears

Madonna is Old

By DJ Salinger, NEW YORK CITY – A growing body of experts and everyday people – a hodgepodge of scientists, spoilt academics and eveyday stereomoms, whathaveyou, say Madonna “is old”.

“It’s irrefutable,” ejaculated Kenny Habh, 9, who has studied Madonna since he was 5. “Her face looks like takoyaki.” (‘Takoyaki’ is Japanese for ‘octopus pancake’.)

Posted in Thinking Man's Rock | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Shocker: You Can See a Girl’s Ass with Low Rider Jeans

By Smia Oots, NEW YORK CITY – Warning: Portions of this article are unfit for those adverse to being shock-rocked. Make sure you’re sitting down before continuing further.


Millions of pairs of popular low rider jeans like the type Britney Spears wears are being recalled due to the shocking revelation that the jeans reveal large portions of the wearer’s ass to the viewing public.

Posted in Schadenfreude | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Gore Warns Celebrities Over Lack of Headroom

By Barry Hussein, HOUSTON – Nobel prize-winning man Al Gore met with concerned celebrities this morning at Denny’s to discuss the nation’s largest decline of headroom since the 1930’s.

Celebrities, Gore says need headroom more than most because their heads are proven to be more inflated than nobodies, or typical consumers.

“We have to act now,” Gore said.

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North Korea to Obama: Give Us Britney Spears

By El Toro, Democracy City, NORTH KOREA – What is it with North Korea? They’re like everybody’s little brother – always clamoring for attention at the worst possible moment. After threatening the good old USA with missiles and plans to build nuclear bombs the tiny island nation ruled by charismatic Kim Jong-Il slipped out of the news for the last few months, giving us all a chance to focus on digesting the fascinating global economic crisis.

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments