Warm Topic Archives: hollywood

Clones Ruffle Identical Twins’ Feathers

By Smia Oots, HOLLYWOOD – As more and more clones move into the neighborhood and take jobs belonging to identical twins a growing echo of whining is spirally out of control in online chat rooms and some of the worst-kept public rest rooms in the city.

“I don’t like clones, ok?” ejaculated Uger Goolens, 16, a hedge fund manager at Goldman Sachs. His identical twin, Lawrence Goolens, 56, nodded in agreement. “They ruffle my feathers,” Uger went on.

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Gore Warns Celebrities Over Lack of Headroom

By Barry Hussein, HOUSTON – Nobel prize-winning man Al Gore met with concerned celebrities this morning at Denny’s to discuss the nation’s largest decline of headroom since the 1930’s.

Celebrities, Gore says need headroom more than most because their heads are proven to be more inflated than nobodies, or typical consumers.

“We have to act now,” Gore said.

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