Warm Topic Archives: afghanistan

Boring

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By Smia Oots, TOKYO – Obama.

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General Urko Irked as Obama Picks Petraeus

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By Barry Hussein, WASHINGTON – Fearsome warlord General Urko is said to be “quaking with venomous rage” at U.S. president, the American Barack Obama’s choice to pass him over for the plumb position of new commander of U.S. forces in the Afghan humanitarian intervention

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

U.S. Not Leaving Afghanistan, Just ‘Wants to See Other People for Awhile’

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By Barry Hussein, KABUL – U.S.A. America defense minister Robert Gates brushed off rapid fire interrogation from town criers gathered at Denny’s yesterday, as they (the criers) demanded to know if the United States (U.S.A America) was leaving Afghanistan as rumored on the street.

“Oh no you guys,” Gates said, “we just want to see other people for awhile.”

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Most Parties Bad, Study Shows

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By The Serge, LOS ANGELES – Prestigious Caribbean think tank MyGoodies released what amounts to a 35-year landmark study on parties, “Parties: a Study”, today at Denny’s.

The result?

Most parties are bad.

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Poll: Cool People ‘Don’t Feel Cool Enough’

Forget the global financial crisis. A new shocking wave of global concern is shock-rocking shoppers and commuters and threatening to add more lumps to everybody’s gravy, even those who chose not to order it. The cause for concern? Prestigious Caribbean think tank MyGoodies announced yesterday at Denny’s that according to in-depth research most cool people “don’t feel cool enough”.

Posted in Hollywood Pap, Latest Brutality, Schadenfreude | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Pentagon Chef Admits Strategy in Afghanistan Not Succeeding

VIRGINIA- Revered Pentagon head chef Pierre de Papineau has locked horns with the White House over the administration’s plans to continue what the Grande Chef calls “a strategy that is, frankly, I tell you honestly, not working,” in the war in Afghanistan.

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