Warm Topic Archives: china

Boring

By Smia Oots, TOKYO – Obama.

Arcade Fire.

Twitter.

Your iPhone.

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Noel Gallagher Quits Oasis, China Says

By DJ Salinger, SHANGHAI – China’s official news service (China’s Official News Service) is reporting this morning that British pop singing sensation Noel Gallagher may have quit Oasis, the world’s most popular shock-rock combo since The Beatles.

“Mr Noel doesn’t like his brother, and wants to experience a middling solo career apart from him (the brother),” said Dan Hartwig, spokesperson for CONS. “It’s just like when Paul quit The Beatles,” he speculated wildly.

Angry fans turned over cars and houses

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James Brown is Dead, China Says

By DJ Salinger, BEIJING – Early reports coming out of this world-class Olympic city are confirming what the rest of the world has believed to be true for well over a year – that James Brown has died.

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