Warm Topic Archives: beer

Boring

By Smia Oots, TOKYO – Obama.

Arcade Fire.

Twitter.

Your iPhone.

Posted in Exclusive! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

North Korea Launches Naughty Rocket

By Barry Hussein, PYONGYANG – North Korea got almost no attention from anyone under 5o today when it behaved “very naughtily” and launched an enormous throbbing Taepodong missile rocket thingy into outer space.

“I don’t care about the rocket – it’s boring,” said Koari Mitsui, 21, a juniour college student at Tokyo’s prestigious International School of Beans & Nail Arts.

Americans didn’t know where North Korea was.

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Few Want to Touch Obama’s Bulging Stimulus Package

By Styles Cradgerock, WASHINGTON – Despite his good looks and boyish smile, despite his taste in music (Springsteen) and way with words (“Yes we can”) it appears that fewer and fewer Americans want to touch his bulging stimulus package.

Posted in Latest Brutality, Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments