Warm Topic Archives: pizza

Libraries are Killing the Internet

By Daemon Mailer, SAN FRANCISCO – San Francisco, home of the Whopper, pizza, the iPod Touch and the Internet. Its citizens are full of themselves.

Ask them for directions and receive the snub of a lifetime.

“We’re the greatest,” says Pauline Faine, 10, a barista in the trendy Haight-Ashbury stoner district.

But now something else San Francisco invented is killing the Internet: Libraries.

Posted in Disco Island, Exclusive! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Backpacker Gets Warm Reception in Europe

God I hate Italy! It’s so boring and the people are so dumb and rude! The weather is atrocious- it just pisses rain all day long since it isn’t cold enough to snow. But it is cold enough that you have to wear three sweaters underneath your raincoat to keep from freezing to death.

Posted in Backpackers, Highlighted Brutality | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Pentagon Chef Admits Strategy in Afghanistan Not Succeeding

VIRGINIA- Revered Pentagon head chef Pierre de Papineau has locked horns with the White House over the administration’s plans to continue what the Grande Chef calls “a strategy that is, frankly, I tell you honestly, not working,” in the war in Afghanistan.

Posted in Grande Chef Otto | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments