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Warm Topic Archives: goldman sachs
Clones Ruffle Identical Twins’ Feathers
By Smia Oots, HOLLYWOOD – As more and more clones move into the neighborhood and take jobs belonging to identical twins a growing echo of whining is spirally out of control in online chat rooms and some of the worst-kept public rest rooms in the city.
“I don’t like clones, ok?” ejaculated Uger Goolens, 16, a hedge fund manager at Goldman Sachs. His identical twin, Lawrence Goolens, 56, nodded in agreement. “They ruffle my feathers,” Uger went on.
Posted in Hollywood Pap
Tagged billy, clones, coldplay, goldman sachs, hollywood, identical twins, radiohead, ruffle feathers, smia oots, subway vigilantes, the brutal times, toyota, university of tokyo
2 Comments
Reality is Worse than TV
By Daemon Mailer, NEW YORK CITY – Millions of Americans are apologizing this morning to their long-suffering tv sets as a landmark report issued in the wee hours is confirming what everybody already knew:
Reality is worse than tv.
Libraries are Killing the Internet
By Daemon Mailer, SAN FRANCISCO – San Francisco, home of the Whopper, pizza, the iPod Touch and the Internet. Its citizens are full of themselves.
Ask them for directions and receive the snub of a lifetime.
“We’re the greatest,” says Pauline Faine, 10, a barista in the trendy Haight-Ashbury stoner district.
But now something else San Francisco invented is killing the Internet: Libraries.
Posted in Disco Island, Exclusive!
Tagged barista, daemon mailer, goldman sachs, haight-ashbury, ipod touch, libraries, pizza, san francisco, the brutal times, the Internet, the whopper, union square
1 Comment
A Brutal Guide to Shimokitazawa 2: Lunching
By Grande Chef Otto, Tokyo, SHIMOKITAZAWA – I know I know, you’re all shaking your collective headbanging heads wondering why I’d go and do such a crazy thing.
Eat out in Shimokitazawa.
Well I was hungry.
Casual Mondays Plan Raises Alarm at Goldman Sachs
By Business Jesus, NEW YORK CITY- With financial markets in turmoil this week after industry giant Lehman Brothers disintegrated and the once most reliable player on the scene, Merrill Lynch, was gobbled up by the Bank of America, traders and […]