By DJ Salinger, DEMOCRATIC PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF IKEA – What is it with North Korea? They’re like everybody’s little brother – always clamoring for attention at the worst possible moment. After threatening the good old USA with missiles and plans to build nuclear bombs the tiny island nation ruled by charismatic Kim Jong-Il slipped out of the news for the last few months, giving us all a chance to focus on digesting the fascinating global economic crisis.
But now, Mr Jong-Il is demanding America send one of its premier songstresses to his island fortress to secure any future peace talks with incoming US president Barack Obama. After seeing a photo of singing sensation Britney Spears on the wall of his surgeon’s office in France KJ casually requested the Google Earth coordinates of her home. Apparently the French surgeon complied.
Upon learning Ms Spears resides in America, KJ telephoned president-elect Obama on Skype.
“I want her – send her to me,” he told Obama.
“I can’t hear you, and I can barely, uh, see you,” Mr Obama told the North Korean leader.
“You need to adjust your headset higher and then reposition your screen,” Mr Jong replied.
“Tell him a pizza has arrived and you have to get up and go to the door and get it,” transcripts show CIA Director Frost Daygood advised Obama, in an effort to set up a smokescreen.
Taking Daygood’s advice Obama was able to delay further discussion of the matter but one of Obama’s aides confessed off the record that the whole episode had been “a close call – I mean, we almost gave them (the North Koreans) Britney Spears,” he confided. And then broke down.
Why are you laughing?