Author Archives: DJ Salinger

About DJ Salinger

Better than nothing, DJ Salinger shakes it where the sun don't shine. BT' s resident recluse on the loose, Salinger is the trouble with this generation, begging the question, What is the sound of one fist bumping?

Oops: New Stooges Album Has Same Title as Biggie Smalls Debut

Ready To Die

The new Iggy & The Stooges album has the same title as The Notorious Big’s masterpiece debut.

Posted in Exclusive!

Jean Claude Van Damme To Join Van Halen

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By DJ Salinger, PARIS – Ah, Paris! Paris in the spring. What can one say about Paris? Only, it isn’t spring, and so far, to be be frank, almost all that’s been written about this golden city on the Seine is unreadable.

Unless you speak French.

Posted in Latest Brutality, Thinking Man's Rock

Radiohead Change Name to Videohead

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By DJ Salinger, LONDON – As London gets ready for the Olympics, shoppers were shocked to learn that long-time fellow Londoners and Deepresso artists, Radiohead will change their name to time with the August Opening Ceremony.

“Yeah, we’re changing our name to Videohead,”

Posted in Latest Brutality

David Lee Roth Looks Like Steve Martin

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By DJ Salinger, LOS ANGELES – Van Halen fans watching the band’s just-released video with singer David Lee Roth for the song Tattoo, have been scratching themselves more than usual this week, as many were noticing that Roth now bears a striking resemblance to comedian Steve Martin.

“Well, the reason for that is quite obvious to me at least,” quipped Republican U.S. presidential candidate Ron Paul,76.

Oh, and why is that?

“That’s because he is Steve Martin.”

Posted in Exclusive!

New Brahms Album Spoilers Rock Cafe Society

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By DJ Salinger, BERLIN – Say the name Brahms and what comes to mind? Brahms, probably. But for die hard Brahms fans, the name Brahms has become synonymous with some of the world’s filthiest curse words.

Know why?

Brahms hasn’t put out an album since 1897.

Posted in Thinking Man's Rock

Frankenband Spring: Billy Corgan Quits Smashing Pumpkins

Ronnie Spector, Billy Corgan and Steve Earl e headline the fourth annual "Waltz" benefit at Chicago's Metro, 23 March, 2002.

By DJ Salinger, DEMOCRATIC PEOPLES’ REPUBLIC OF IKEA – Billy Corgan, founding father of Green Day and the Smashing Pumpkins, quit the Smashing Pumpkins yesterday, after fans complained the band’s Ikea performance was “about as exciting as waiting for a bus.”

Posted in Thinking Man's Rock

WikiLeaks Classical Composer Spoilers

By DJ Salinger, STOCKHOLM – Andy Warhol, CEO of WikiLeaks released an hot treasure trove of hot leaks fresh off his new album, Hot Leaks, The Brutal Times has learned. And the hottest among them?

Classical Composer spoilers.

Posted in Exclusive!

Nothing Sounds Better than a Great MP3

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By DJ Salinger, TOKYO – Nothing sounds better than a great mp3. Am I right? The Japanese discovered this back in the ’80′s, when they discovered America, but now even the biggest losers are dumping their sad sack vinyl collections in the river and wearing their CDs instead of playing them.

Good for them!

Posted in Thinking Man's Rock

Paul: “Beatles Were an Hoax”

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By D.J. Salinger, BALTIMORE – Wiping his hands on the brim of his skintight jeans, Beatles’s front man Paul McCartney shocked a bunch of loitering black bloc anarchists patiently waiting for a bus, when he whispered at them, “I’ve got something that’ll really flip your lids, lads – The Beatles were an hoax.”

Posted in Thinking Man's Rock

The Geddy Leesa “Lost, Missing or Stolen”

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By DJ Salinger, THE LOUVRE – Some people are caring this morning, as the prog rock art world’s most valuable sparkly treasure, the Geddy Leesa, has been reported lost, missing or stolen by its troll minder.

Posted in Thinking Man's Rock