Warm Topic Archives: star wars

Who’ll be Canada’s next Cock Blocker?: Master Debate Director’s Cut

By The Serge, TORONTO – U.S. President Barack Obama must have been kicking himself yesterday for his poorly-timed announcement celebrating the capture of terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden. TV and Internet viewers quickly cut away from Obama’s speech last night to watch previously unreleased highlights of Canaduh’s federal election master debate, held…maybe last week sometime. The master debate heavily factors in to most Canadians decision to elect the tiny country’s next leader, known traditionally by the honorific, “Cock Blocker”.

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A Penetrating Look Inside McCain

By Barry Hussein, TEXAS – Maverick Arizona senator and recent candidate for US president John McCain is hard at work applying the finishing touches to his tell-all campaign trail memoir, “Inside McCain”, due out this Christmas.

After McCain fell asleep last night at his standing desk (that’s right – he sleeps upright) I sneaked round him and by tongs pulled the moist manuscript from a secret location on his person where it had been secretly secreted.

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George Lucas to Shoot Chinese Democracy Videos

George Lucas is ready to rumble. Locked and loaded with energy after the stunning success of his latest act of self-sabotage Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, the gruff-as-ever Lucas confirmed Monday that he is slated to direct the first of seven videos from Guns N’ Roses fresh out the oven Chinese Democracy album.

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‘Jar Jar Binks Hiding in Iran’ – US State Dept Official

By Barry Hussein, WASHINGTON – As George W. Bush tidies up the last remaining loose ends of his 8 year stint as U.S. president an official at the state department, speaking anonymously, stated yesterday that soon-to-be-released documents will show Al […]

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