Delicious Toppings
- Ask Daemon Mailer
- Backpackers
- Bookmobile
- Business Jesus
- Canaduh
- Conversational Gold
- Delicious Toppings
- Disco Island
- Exclusive!
- Featured Brutality
- Genius of the Week
- Go Deeper
- Grande Chef Otto
- Highlighted Brutality
- Hollywood Pap
- Iraq
- Japan
- Latest Brutality
- Ordinary People
- Party Central
- Presidential Daily Brief
- Santa
- Schadenfreude
- Sick Bay
- Special Report
- Stories For Bottoms
- Stories For Tops
- Thinking Man's Rock
Warm Topic Archives: professor rant foaming
Exclusive: Top Models Stay Thin by Snorting Cocaine
By Smia Oots, Tokyo, GASPANIC SHIBUYA – Tokyo town criers sent tremors through this already much shock-rocked city early this morning when they confirmed what everybody already knew all along.
Top models in Tokyo, Bahrain, and Moscow are staying thin by snorting cocaine.
Posted in Business Jesus
Tagged 000 millisieverts of cocaine per hour, 50, Business Jesus, exclusive: top models stay thin by snorting cocaine, fluffer, gaspanic shibuya, jay-Z.my goodies, julian assange jeans, millisieverts, playboy mansion cooties, professor rant foaming, the brutal times, tokyo, vuvuzelas
2 Comments
500-year-old Book is Really Boring
By El Toro, PITTSBURGH – A 500-year-old book somebody found here the other day is really boring sources are telling the Brutal Times this morning.
“I didn’t even open the book – just looking at it made me drool all over myself,”
Posted in Highlighted Brutality
Tagged 500-year-old book is really boring, el toro, indiana jones' poop chute, inspired to rap on a bus, it made me drool all over myself, julian assange, osama bin laden, philosophy students, pittsburgh, professor rant foaming, radiohead vs kid rock, roy kesey at mcsweeney's, the brutal times
2 Comments
Shocker: Most U.S. Kids Don’t Know What ‘Don’t Taze me, Bro’ is
By Daemon Mailer, NEBRASKA – While most news organizations topple over themselves trying to report the same nonnews about North Korea attacking the South this evening, a far more exciting and razzle-dazzle thing has done happened, right underneath their noses, The Brutal Times has learned.
According to a landmark overnite study conducted by prestigious Caribbean think tank MyGoodies, most U.S. kids don’t know what “Don’t taze me, bro” is.