Warm Topic Archives: styles cradgerock

Hillary Woos Goth Vote

April 7, 2008

By Styles Cradgerock PENNSYLVANIA – Second place finish candidate for the Democratic presidential nomination Hillary “Hot” Rodham Clinton is far from “rolling over and playing dead,” her campaign spokesperson Haylie Grahame declared in confidence late yesterday evening. Ms Clinton has [...]

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

DIY Organ Transplants – Easier Than You Thought

March 1, 2008

By Brutal Times Health Watch Doctor Wayne McGillicutty, SMILES – You may have foolishly thought that major operations like transplants were best left to surgeons in hospitals, but one Toronto area man is seeking to change all that. “The myth [...]

Posted in Highlighted Brutality, Sick Bay | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

State Of The Union Spoiler: Iraq War ‘Ironic’ Bush Says

January 28, 2008

By the serge, WASHINGTON (The Brutal Times) – In advance copies of tonight’s State of the Union address obtained by The Brutal Times, President George W Bush reveals his 2003 plan to invade Iraq was “ironic,” and insists that he [...]

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Prince Harry Confesses To Ripper Killings

January 21, 2008
prince-harry1

(By Styles Cradgerock) LONDON, England- The twisted tangled trail leading to the unmasking of the true identity of one of England`s most notorious murderers has taken yet another twisted tangled turn . In what has been the first concrete step [...]

Posted in Exclusive!, Hollywood Pap | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Daemon Mailer Tazed At Canadian Airport

January 5, 2008

By El Toro, TORONTO – Flamboyant Internet pioneer Daemon Mailer was rushed to Toronto’s Grace Hospital early this morning after being repeatedly tazed in front of shocked onlookers at Pearson International Airport. Mailer, who witnesses said appeared “between 30 and [...]

Posted in Canaduh, Latest Brutality | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Iraqis Strive To Top 2006 Death Toll

December 10, 2007

By Styles Cradgerock, Iraq, BAGHDAD – With time running out as December nears to a close Baghdadis of all sizes, sects and credit histories rushed to kill one another and top 2006′s death toll. Brushing aside US and Blackwater Construction [...]

Posted in Iraq | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

John Edwards Will Continue To Tell The Truth

November 18, 2007

By Styles Craderock, Nevada, HENDERSON – A beaming US Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards told gathered members of the media and a smattering of locals Tuesday in Nevada that he “will continue to tell the truth, for the rest of [...]

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Thom Yorke Addicted To Bananas

October 24, 2007

LONDON, England (The Brutal Times)- A man named Thom Yorke who locals say sings songs for the punk rock group “Radio Heads” is reported to be addicted to bananas. The shocking new news was broken by the band’s long-time best [...]

Posted in Highlighted Brutality, Thinking Man's Rock | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments