Google Alert for Obama:North Korea Trying to Start a Big Fucking War

By Ohashi Jozu, TOKYO – Dear President-elect Obama/To Whom it May Concern, It’s great you became the president. I’m looking forward visiting your country some day when I get a free time.

By the way, did you know – North Korea is trying to start a big fucking war with Japan.

Since April (I think) they have fired a whole bunch of missiles at us.

Today they fired six more (so far).

How about, if it’s not too much trouble,

NUKING THEM?!?

I mean, fuck – enough is enough.

I was enjoying chatting with my cousin, Sato-san, and he said if you don’t perk up your ears pronto and retaliate we are going to nuke up and turn that island to the left of us into (insert derogatory slur of your own choosing here).

I look forward to your reply (hopefully in the form of a massive onslaught next door).

Sincerely yours,

Japan.

About Ohashi Jozu

Ohashi Jozu is a seasoned business affairs columnist. His 37 years with Japan's premier financial trade newspaper The Nikkei Weekly earned him kudos from Princess Masako, Seattle Mariners' slugger Ichiro Suzuki, and the widely-respected deceased American writer Norman Mailer, who once called Mr Ohashi " a living embodiment of Japan's samurai spirit - a white-knuckle roller-coaster ride of a human being." Ohashi Jozu has two daughters, Koari, and Sadako. They are attending junior college and hope to become flight attendants.
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