Doubt is a Ballbreaker & Most are Filled with Crushing Loneliness: Study

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By The Serge, SIMI VALLEY – Doubt is a ballbreaker and most folks are filled with a crushing loneliness, according to a landmark Tweet, issued by prestigious Caribbean think tank MyGoodies this morning.

“I just dunno whut to believe,” echoed Jess Namet, 22, a great lover of social networking and so on. “I don’t know who the President is. I don’t know who I is. I don’t know where I is. And I’m only, like 23,” she went on.

Ms. Namet is not alone.

MyGoodies tweeted all day long and into the night about others, locked in their cubes, doubting and being crushed with the endless loneliness.

“My balls are broken,” wailed business dude Heinz Waring, 29, of KPMG. “My 6 figure salary does not fill the void, Lloyd,” he kept talking.

But how come the Internet and online marketing don’t fill it?

“It’s just…too much…and…endless and spinning.”

But, OK, so, it’s the Internet that’s causing the busting and the loneliness?

“It’s the crushing. And the void.”

What about social networking?

“The movie? Haven’t seen it.”

Dude, you should like totally check it out! What a blast! That’ll put your chops back in order.

“I’ve no interest in another bit of depressing a-historical fluff with another soundtrack by faux retirees Nine Inch Nails.”

No?

“N-no.”

Do you like animals?

“Only when I was a kid. The animals today are different.”

What about shapes?

“Shapes are OK. Colors are nice, if I get to choose which ones. I don’t like sounds as much as I used to.”

Food?

“Basically all tastes the same – like donuts mushed with Subway.”

A nice long bath?

“That…I would not mind at all.”

Make sense?

About the serge

Channeling Pascal (The source of all man's misfortune is his inability to stay in his room) the serge confides, "In my day, we didn't call them love hotels - we called them sex hotels." Begging the question, Vuvuzela avec moi, ce soir?, BT readers get so much pleasure out of his columns they...ought to be punished.
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3 Responses to Doubt is a Ballbreaker & Most are Filled with Crushing Loneliness: Study

  1. big jim says:

    aw jeez, wheres my news about bieber and the republicans?!? i done wanna hear this fluff!!!

  2. dagmar shook says:

    hearing a grass roots perspective from jess namet was intoxicating. i haven’t caught such a beautiful buzz since i sniffed a stack of old time magazines on my doctor’s table.

  3. la bear says:

    dont know what you’re on about, mate. i’m not filled with doubt, and my life’s a blast.

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