Lack of Kitchen Counter Space in Libya Political Hot Potato for Rebels

By Grande Chef Otto, TRIPOLI – Because there was nothing else on we were stuck watching that revolution thingy in Libya? The one which should have been exciting since their dictator dresses like Michael Jackson and has more attitude than Snoop Doggie, but is actually a snore fest since now all the other channels got wars on `em too?

But then just before The Serge was gonna change the channel that Christiana Amanpour shocked us out of our comfy seats with some story about cooking and lack of kitchen counter space becoming an political hot potato for the rebels in their fight to unseat strongman Mummar Ghadaffi.

“Ghadaffi understands the need for kitchen counter space,” ejaculated Ken Haymen of the Rand Institute, a sidewalk chalk artists’ think tank. “He knows a good sauce depends on adequate counter space. Likewise, you can’t bake a cake or stuff a turkey if you’re feeling cramped or boxed in,” he went on.

Point taken.

“What the rebels’ve failed to grasp in their rush to seize power is that they’re going to need to show people they can clear away household clutter and make it easier for the average Libyan to cook up a tasty meal at home,” he kept talking.

Can’t Libyan folks go eat out or something?

After Ken left, we shouted our questions at Christiana, who looked at us blankly from the TV, but I think what she said back was something like this:

“Um, what you have to consider is that the cost of going out, to say Subway or Denny’s may be life-threatening injury.”

So, they’re saying it’s not worth it.

“Yes, that would be correct.”

Well, how much space the average Libyan need to cook up some good grub?

“These are things the rebels, or more likely, Ghadaffi, are going to have to suss out on a case by case basis, sitting down with families, talking about their favorite meals, seeing how big the people who are gonna do the cooking are – the list just goes on.”

And you think Ghadaffi would be better at doing that?

“Well, who knows? But I’ve talked to lots of rebels, and just by being rebels, they don’t want to do what you ask them to do, so, no – I don’t see them reaching out to provide more kitchen counter space, sadly.”

Huh. So, do you cook at home then?

“No, I spend my lunches at a place called Pasta La Vista, and most evenings you’ll find me at Ssh…Kebab.”

What a coincidence – I run those two establishments!

“The planet is so small. I’d really like to recommend your 6 for one specials.”

You’re too kind, too kind. These are the type of moments that really restore one’s faith in something.

Am I right?

About Grande Chef Otto

GCO is a third generation Grade AAA Grande Chef, whom has served France with distinction since first garnering the honor in 1963.The title of "Grande Chef" is bestowed by the prestigious Paris L'Ecole du Piscine Noir uponst those rare experts in the culinary arts willing to take unprecedented risks in the pursuit of achieving gastronomic perfection. He is also the proud owner of the award-winning bistros Ssh..Kebab, and Pasta La Vista.
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11 Responses to Lack of Kitchen Counter Space in Libya Political Hot Potato for Rebels

  1. midniteblue says:

    personally, i haven’t watched the conflict in libya, but i think it’s rather incorrect to boil it down to a debate over counter space. nawitimean?

  2. nancy glassman says:

    The trouble with this generation and people like midnight blue are they don’t watch enough tv to know whats going on.

  3. milos foreplan says:

    the bottom line is you can’t be trusted! you even got moamar gadfffi’s name wrong.

  4. lenore vu says:

    @nancy glassman: are you kidding? i’m with midnite blue – counter space? come on! everyone deserves more. so mucch more!

  5. elton says:

    what’s up BT? long time, long time. listen, y’all need to lay off on the whole libyan isssue and focus on getting back to more of the honeys, am i right?

  6. greg richardson says:

    i like libbys beans!

  7. elton says:

    hey, i just wanted to say what’s up to lenure up top. what you doin’ right now?

  8. ban ki moon says:

    this is unconscionable. this kind of reporting – from the blogosphere – stalls all our peace efforts and personally ruffles my feathers to the nth degree.

  9. julian assange says:

    According to cables, counter space is not an issue in this current conflict. Counter space was, and continues to an issue in many countries, including Australia and, surprisingly, The Peoples’ Democratic Republic of IKEA.

  10. lenore vu says:

    hi elton, have you finished up that graduate thesis you were chatting up or are you just texting me for a snog?

  11. pepperonchino says:

    Julian assange? ban ki moon? come on guys – lets have the guts to use our real names here.