By Louise, Special to The Brutal Times, WYOMING – I left my iron on. I left it plugged in after ironing my husband Ray’s shirts and pants last night. Now I’m worried it’s caught on fire and that the flames have spread to the curtains.
Special to The Brutal Times, By Bradley Meyer – I was hating every single moment of my life until I found my fondue crock pot on the street in front of my neighbor’s house.
That crock pot, once cleaned off and packed with thick translucent fondue goo has knocked me on my keister and wrapped its dripping hot salty tentacles around my mind.
By Liz Traileboum, Special to The Brutal Times – I’m a stay at home mom, trying to balance five jobs, one hundred and sixteen kids and seven thousand jobs I do from the comfort of my own kitchen. I guess you could say I’m stuck juggling about eleven million different routines.
Boy, some days I get so pooped!
Yeah, and then the anger comes. From coping with change.
By Connie Roe, Special to the Brutal Times, BUFFALO – Hey Brutal Times, I was wondering. You got that Chef Otto, right? Could you ask him what Joaquin Phoenix is eating these days?
Boy, I think that guy has problems! He’s gotta be eating something downright strange. That would account for his wacky behavior on all those shows.
By Lorraine Le Blanc, Special to The Brutal Times – When I come home from work I fix myself and my husband Marcus a delicious meal from online recipes I download straight into my range.
It’s a hell of a job and by the time I’m done I’m drenched in rank sweat and there’s sauce pretty much everywhere, even up my nose once in January with that chicken ala king.
But what’s really my saving grace is after, sitting down to enjoy American Idol.
By Brad Bremner, (Special to the Brutal Times) Cuba, VERADERO -
Someone just fucking shoot me. Seriously, I got wasted on mojitos* and passed out in the sun. (* Cuban beverage containing vitamin A, B12, and powerful intoxicants and properties to enlarge feet and buttocks).
Now I’m lying here basted in fifty dollar sunburn lotion by the bar and I’m just going to stay pissed until either I fuckin’ die or the nightmare ends. They really should warn you about those goddamned minty drinks, don’t you think?