My Co-worker is a Noisy Eater

noisyeater

By Blanche Jillbaine, Special To The Brutal Times – My co-worker is a noisy eater. Did you ever have a noisy eater as a co-worker? I’ll bet you did! Even though now I’m away from my cube during winter vacation for the Baby Jesus, I’m plagued by memories, images, of the co-worker.

The co-worker (I don’t keep track of names, sorry) had sat next to me. The desk was situated aside mine. Even then it was before lunch hours, but said co-worker opened his satchel to reveal assorted verboten snacks.

“So rude,” I commented, brushing my shoulder-length permed mane briskly to endouble my annoyance.

“‘S your ‘prob?” this animal said to me.

A blob dangled from its’ mouth.

“Goddam you,” I hissed.

At then the supervising machine had entered the cube area so combat had to be suspended. However by end of work day my fury gushed and explode.

“What are you doing…that’s my car!” the co-worker asked to me.

I had scratched my name in bold into the left front door.

“This will teach you,” I hissed, “to eat quietly, next to neighbors.”

Noisy co-workers must be destroyed before they become radicalised. I for one, sign on to destroy noisy-eaters near my desk.

How about you?

About The Brutal Times

A bit of a toff, really, Admin inhaled the classics early. His ears are ringing and he plans...to answer them.
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2 Responses to My Co-worker is a Noisy Eater

  1. Das says:

    I wish I had the courage to stand up for my loud eating conviction the way you have Blanche.

    ps: Don’t wear earplugs when you eat to block out the sound of your own chewing, it amplifies the sound in your own head.

    Love Das

  2. Bill says:

    I fully agree with the sentiment of this article!!!!!

    I think this as one of the punishments Satan has arranged for me, when the Demon who is torturing me lays down his red hot poker and puts down the bottle of vinegar he is using to disinfect the wound and says,
    “… smoko time Bill, I got two minute noodles…” I may think to myself for just a minute that I am about to have a break from the wrath of Gods’ fallen angel. But no that fucker has to start shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhlurpping his noodles one at a time….

    BRING OUT THE WATERBOARD AND DO YOUR WORST!!!! ANYTHING BUT THE NOODLES

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