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Presidential Daily Brief

The same one the President reads before breakfast? Come on. Still. Styles Cradgerock and Barry Hussein report.

Dark Knight Angered By Presidential ‘Snub’

January 8, 2009 by El Toro

By El Toro, NEW YORK CITY – As six former US presidents sat down for a delicious lunch with President George W Bush and president-elect Barack Obama every face at the table beamed with bi-partisan glee.

North Korea to Obama: Give Us Britney Spears

January 6, 2009 by DJ Salinger

By El Toro, Democracy City, NORTH KOREA – What is it with North Korea? They’re like everybody’s little brother – always clamoring for attention at the worst possible moment. After threatening the good old USA with missiles and plans to build nuclear bombs the tiny island nation ruled by charismatic Kim Jong-Il slipped out of the news for the last few months, giving us all a chance to focus on digesting the fascinating global economic crisis.

Obama Asks Bush to Stay on as President

December 26, 2008 by admin

By El Toro, HONOLULU – Call it a case of daring spontaneity brought on by the soothing sand and sun and sea of a sensational luxury post-election breather. Several stalwart Barack Obama supporters were mildly amused by reports coming out of Honolulu this morning that Mr Obama had met privately at his tasteful beach villa with President Bush and several of his friends.

Oprah’s Boobs ‘Too Hot to Handle’

October 20, 2008 by admin

By El Toro, OHIO – As memory of the three most boring presidential debates in history (excepting 1976’s Jimmy Carter vs himself) fade and pool in globs of earthy muck, word has surfaced through leaked campaign memos that both candidates […]

Germany Arms for WWW III as World Markets Melt

October 6, 2008 by Styles Cradgerock

By Styles Cradgerock, BERLIN – Perky German president Angela Merkel met today with concerned citizens groups in response to the recent shockwaves sent through Berlin’s markets stemming from the US financial meltdown. Merkel was firm in her resolve to “stay […]

U.S. Presidential Debate Spoilers

September 23, 2008 by El Toro

By El Toro, USA AMERICA – Mr Obama, who is running to be the first black US president, will wear a blue tie. Mr McCain, who is running to be the oldest white US president, will wear a red tie. […]

Palin Babygate Entangles Edwards

September 2, 2008 by Barry Husein

(By Barry Hussein) ST PAUL, MINNESOTA – With only days and minutes remaining in the super-charged 2008 presidential race newly-cemented Republican vice-presidential pick Governor Sarah Palin is turning heads and pricking up ears with her peppy plunk and can-do attitude.

Sarah Palin Threw My Hockey Puck in the Lake!

September 1, 2008 by Rabeezio Rabeezio

Alaska – Little is known about Sen. John McCain’s newly announced running mate Sarah Palin. But you can count on The Brutal Times to bring you the stories no one else can. We’ve unconvered what could be a bombshell once Obama’s people get thier hands on it.

11 Year-old: “Obama plus Biden Spells Bin Laden”

August 30, 2008 by Barry Husein

As Barrack Obama’s throngs of gyrating bikini-clad supporters are just coming to terms with his formal renunciation of his decision Thursday to select his wife of eighteen years Michelle Obama as vice-presidential running mate, a new shocker is shock-rocking this seaside mountain villa.

Obama Announces Running Mate: It’s Michelle!!

August 23, 2008 by Rabeezio Rabeezio

WASHINGTON – We’ve just received word, ahead of the Twitter update the world is waiting for, from a source close to the presidential hopeful that Obama has decided to break with tradition and choose his wife, Michelle Obama, as his official running mate.