Conversational Gold - The Brutal Times
Delicious Topping

Presidential Daily Brief

The same one the President reads before breakfast? Come on. Still. Styles Cradgerock and Barry Hussein report.

Germany Arms for WWW III as World Markets Melt

By Styles Cradgerock, BERLIN – Perky German president Angela Merkel met today with concerned citizens groups in response to the recent shockwaves sent through Berlin’s markets stemming from the US financial meltdown. Merkel was firm in her resolve to “stay […]

U.S. Presidential Debate Spoilers

By El Toro, USA AMERICA – Mr Obama, who is running to be the first black US president, will wear a blue tie. Mr McCain, who is running to be the oldest white US president, will wear a red tie. […]

Palin Babygate Entangles Edwards

(By Barry Hussein) ST PAUL, MINNESOTA – With only days and minutes remaining in the super-charged 2008 presidential race newly-cemented Republican vice-presidential pick Governor Sarah Palin is turning heads and pricking up ears with her peppy plunk and can-do attitude.

Sarah Palin Threw My Hockey Puck in the Lake!

Alaska – Little is known about Sen. John McCain’s newly announced running mate Sarah Palin. But you can count on The Brutal Times to bring you the stories no one else can. We’ve unconvered what could be a bombshell once Obama’s people get thier hands on it.

11 Year-old: “Obama plus Biden Spells Bin Laden”

As Barrack Obama’s throngs of gyrating bikini-clad supporters are just coming to terms with his formal renunciation of his decision Thursday to select his wife of eighteen years Michelle Obama as vice-presidential running mate, a new shocker is shock-rocking this seaside mountain villa.

Obama Announces Running Mate: It’s Michelle!!

WASHINGTON – We’ve just received word, ahead of the Twitter update the world is waiting for, from a source close to the presidential hopeful that Obama has decided to break with tradition and choose his wife, Michelle Obama, as his official running mate.

‘Jar Jar Binks Hiding in Iran’ – US State Dept Official

By Barry Hussein, WASHINGTON – As George W. Bush tidies up the last remaining loose ends of his 8 year stint as U.S. president an official at the state department, speaking anonymously, stated yesterday that soon-to-be-released documents will show Al […]

Hillary Woos Goth Vote

By Styles Cradgerock PENNSYLVANIA – Second place finish candidate for the Democratic presidential nomination Hillary “Hot” Rodham Clinton is far from “rolling over and playing dead,” her campaign spokesperson Haylie Grahame declared in confidence late yesterday evening. Ms Clinton has […]

Iraq Offers To Reduce Brutal Cost Of War

By Barry Hussein, Iraq, BAGHDAD – As costs mount for the pricey Iraq war, bean counters in the US administration have been prodding policymakers to look for cheaper theaters of operation in the upcoming fiscal new year. The non-partisan Congressional […]

Comedians Pray For Obama Loss

By Smia Oots (Special To The Brutal Times) NEW YORK CITY- A gathering of the nation’s star comedians caused stirs in the throngs of shoppers who crowded in to Times Square Monday to heed President George W Bush’s call to […]