Author Archives: Marshall Stack

About Marshall Stack

Failing to heed his own warnings, specialist in moral turpitude Marshall Stack has hit a roadblock. Yes, gang, just like you and me, he's the opposite of delicious. According to passersby, Stack possesses that rare commodity of being able not only to control his own weight, but also that of others. We're so proud of him for not breaking anything.

Cock Blocker Leaves Canada Open for Anarchy

harper

By Marshall Stack, TORONTO – As winter whips its icy way through this Eastern Canadian business capital the only thing that can match the plummeting market descent are the near -100 degree C plummeting temps. And the only place to warm your balls may be the nearest local pub.

But wait. Someone is knocking at the door. Could it be – anarchy?

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief

Librarians Threaten National Security

  By Marshall Stack (NEW YORK CITY) -At the Pinecrest Public Libary in Quikton, things just aren’t the same. Gone are the boisterous crowds of youngsters eager to chew the fat in low whispers about their favorite scribes. No longer […]

Posted in Bookmobile

One Man’s Opinion: Opera Sucks

By Marshall Stack (TORONTO)- Musicologist Matt Von Vertmoor is a man driven. Each morning at exactly five a.m. he leaves his tiny downtown apartment and travels by subway to the Canadian Opera Company’s Performance Venue on Queen St. West. After […]

Posted in Latest Brutality, Thinking Man's Rock

‘My Life Was A Pecan-Glazed Hell’: Confessions Of A Wicker Addict

By Marshall Stack, NEW YORK- Luke Lundy speaks quickly through thin, lip balm stained fingers as he peers furtively out at the world through the same fingers he is trying to speak through. This is no easy task for the […]

Posted in Featured Brutality

Cheese: Legal Tender in Canada by 2014

By Marshall Stack, CANADA (Thornloe) -In the normally tepid hamlet of Thornloe, Ontario, there is an air brewing in the air. There is a buzz around the lone traffic light and the door of the convenience store is being opened and summarily closed far more often than usual. Why the sturm und drang?

Posted in Canaduh, Featured Brutality