Man replies to email without reading it

Editorial Board, Bastille, FRANCE – A 24-year-old man replied to an email without first reading it, The Brutal Times has learned.

”I didn’t think it was that serious,” the man,  Arizona resident Troy Dean, 20, told Google officials and other related authorities in Mountain View, Calif.

”No, what I said was, ‘Like I give a [barnyard epithet].’”

Well, but why didn’t you-

“Why didn’t I read the email?”

Yes.

”Why don’t you read the email?”

Excuse me?

”Why don’t you read it?”

It’s your email.

“Yeah.”

I’m just trying to-

“I don’t have the bloody time to read it, OK mate? All right?”

Oh, I didn’t know you were British.

Are there other emails you replied to – without reading? In Britain or … other countries?

What did you write in your reply?

….

Wait … are you hungry or something? Is that why you’re – I mean you seem a little pissed off or something.

”Yes,  I bloody well am mate! I’m right famished, frankly – to be honest.”

Now we’re getting somewhere. Would you like some fish n’ chips?

I know a great chip shop we could duck into for “a quick nosh.” It’d be my treat.

‘Ow about some bangers n’ mash?

….

A haggis?

Toad in a hole?

“I suppose … I could go for that, yeah.”

”I said-“

Right.

”Were you just taking the piss right now?”

”What’s a toad in the hole?”

”What’s a toad in the hole- come on then.”

I think that woman over there’s staring at us.

”What?”

I think that- you can see she’s angled her chair right towards us.

Dude, she’s not even hiding it. What’s her [barnyard epithet] problem?

”All right, all right, calm down mate, that’s me old mam.”

What?

”That’s me old mam – me mum. She likes to tag along, like.”

Ah.

”I suppose you’re wondering why I didn’t just let my dear old mam read me email.”

No, I-

“I didn’t want to trouble her, ye see?”

No, I-

“She gets angry when she’s troubled, like.”

No, I-

“You don’t wanna get in her way when she’s in one of her moods, like.”

No, I-

“She’d break a skinny runt like you in ‘alf right quick methinks.”

No, I-

“Mate methinks ye might be best make a run for it.”

”She’s givin’ ye the right evil eye, like.”

Oh in that case …

Why are you laughing?

 

 

 

 

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A bit of a toff, really, Admin inhaled the classics early. His ears are ringing and he plans...to answer them.
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